Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close to the Edge

TODAY





TONITE




Folks, it does happen sometimes, I just haven't had the bandwidth. So play some catch up on some old posts and I'll be back tomorrow. Ouch Ouch Ok, Ok, why you gotta use the whip with the spikes in it DAYUMMMM!

Parental Controls

"The most hypocritical stance you take...is that of being a parent". This crossed my mind as I rode, all the windows down, leaning way to far to the right so only my eyebrow peeked above the steering wheel, shades on, head bobbing and LiL Wayne screaming he's stuntin like his daddy. I knew that one block from the school, I would sit up, change to something 'acceptable' and arrive as her momma. I'm don't necessary know if hypocrite is the right word, but when you think about all the things you do and have done in your life and what you are trying to steer your child to do, it's quite comical. I drink, cuss, will smoke, have fornicated and some other thangs - yet as a parent, I must instill the right base in her. It just made me chuckle.


We had to go over to the school due to Goddess having some issues. As I mentioned, I created her a flyer basically explaining what was about to go down. It said: Since U can't stay awake! This has to OFF at 9:45pm This has to be OFF at 9:30 pm You have to be IN BED LIGHT OUT by 10pm Since we can't trust you to be responsible -we have to set boundaries! Laziness is not an option! Dummying down to fit in only leaves you left out!

The meeting was short - we were on the same page. I have noticed and I guess it's just a fact of life, especially in our community that all of her teachers are very enamoured with...the way she looks. Every sentence begins with "as beautiful as she is" It irriates me a bit, because I don't want her to be identified by her looks, ultimately that's a lonely existence, since really only about 10% of the population if not less is defined as having universal beauty. The rest of us self identify, lol However, the reality of the situation is that light skin with those dark and smoky features and lushious eyelashes and long cascading hair are going to open doors for her, get her places and keep her in the spotlight. I just want to make sure that if she gets in on that fluke, that she can stay because of something else. SIGH.


Screech, Scritch, Scratch - now I'm sitting at the spring concert. Awww - no matter how long it still sounds like cats fighting, lol I am trying to see if I could morph into Bewitched at which time, I would blink myself a paint stirrer and turn around and get to wholloping on the little savages sitting behind me. Lawd have mercy!

Out the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of the standing bass player. He was quite handsome and for some reason I felt like he was a nice young man. Someone was taking care of him as well. You could tell by his shoes and the quality of his shirt. He was jamming and I nudged Caun and told him he seemed like a nice young man and that Goddess could look at him, lol As the event went on, I began really paying attention and when he walked and strapped on the guitar, I was smitten.

See, my philosophy is that unlike the saying, 'you can't choose who you fall in love with' yes you can. It is our job to introduce through two methods the type of mates our children should be seeking out. (1) by who you yourself date and (2)by pointing them out. I remember someone saying, we as a people need to start breeding better! MAN that's my new motto! Yea they can have preferences etc., but you better start pointing out and parading before them, the look, actions and feel you would like to see them with. Man he was a young David Ruffin I tell yah! LOL LOL LOL So afterwards, I pointed him out to Goddess, who informed me that he had already written her a love song or two and that he was currently upset because he said she broke his heart, lol. His mom is a teacher at the school and she introduced herself to Goddess, because he's always talking about her. I joked to Caun that I already could see little chocolate grandbabies in my far future, LOL. Goddess turned beet red and I told her that yea he would make a nice 8th grade dance escort. (notice I didn't say date). She was beet red the whole time, lol

I will be honest, I haven't really mapped out exactly how I am going to address the entire dating/going out issue and am flying by the seat of my pants. I do know I won't be using the previous method used on me that included dungeons, wax and eyelash curlers, lol I also know that Caun is that Daddy in Bad boys 2; so it's gonna be a lonnng haul to say the least. I want to do it with reality, caring and openness. That's all I can say right this second. The 8th grade dance is coming up - she might wanna go. I'm not going to not let her go because a....BOY might ask her. Finding out that lots of boys liked me, but that they never express it because my mom had me on such lock down was devasating to me. Teenagedom is bad enough as it is. I don't want folks to be scared just on GP of me, lol lol Give me something to go off about first.

As I watched Goddess down there, it dawned on me that she's too good. Yea I said it, she is stifling herself. The other kids were dancing etc. to the band melody's and she looked like she wanted to burst out, but didn't...because I was there. I have done my job, now it's time to refine it. Sweetie have fun! Loosen the freak up! I know you like to dance, you got a slammin sense of humor and a couple of these little boys have peaked your interest. It's alright, even when I'm around. You know what NOT to do, here's a list of what you CAN do. Lawd have mercy!

Not to mention I came in the damn school a parent and walked out the 2007-08 School Year PTA Secretary! SOMEBODY HELP A SISTA!

So this has been another episode of the randomness that is Pam - I have no idea where I meant for this to go - so I will just call it a true Mindspace, lol


P.S. One More Thing - MEMORIAL DAY SOMETHING BIG IS POPPIN OFF! STAY TUNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankful

In the car this morning, I thought of my sista in blogdom Honey-Libra and the fact she’s been running a thankful page for awhile now. Others have begun to incorporate it into their blogs. I have been slow to embrace it because every time I roll the thought through my mind, it comes out crazy. However, I finally just said you know what? My stuff has always been to the left and this will be no exception. I don’t have to fit into some ‘formula’ for what I’m thankful for; so here yah go.

I am thankful…….

• that my natural hair texture is only about 8-10% off from my Yaki 1B.
  
  
• that though the body is stretched, I have no cellulite and very light stretch marks.
  
  
• that in this country you can act a plum fool, lay low and come back – Mike is on the way!
  
  
• that I have never been duped by no dude for my paper.
  
  
• that I was bomb enough to have to be replaced by four women in my ex’s life
  
  
• that the following actions are not part of my life journey: incest, molestation, rape, domestic violence
  
  
• that while listening to Lisa Raye talk about the greatness of her man, I said “You don got yourself a CAUN”
  
  
• that for some reason folks have decided I’m a good source of a lot of things.
  
  
• that my child isn’t on a path to being on Maury trying to get pregnant on purpose
  
  
• that there is no debtors prison
  
  
• that my parents were militant
  
  
• for my ability to multi-task
  
  
• that I repositioned myself to succeed at my job, without losing myself
  
  
• for all the restaurants in Atlanta
  
  
• that I am wanted by most, desired by some
  
  
• for the advancement of technology in optical care (i.e. thin glasses and contacts)
  
  
• that I have haters
  
  
• that I have ‘issues’ but no ‘problems’
  
  
• I am thankful that stressors in my life come from outside my immediate.
  
  
• for sunshine beaming through my window on Sunday
  
  
• for the cuddling and love talk my man gives me every single day
  
  
• for love
  
  
• for peace
  
  
• for progression
  
  
• for stability
  
  
• the discovery and development of Liquor
  
  
• for my DVR
  
  
• for my great legs
  
  
• for boots
  
  
• FASHIONABLE Plus Size Clothes
  
  
• My Momma told me ‘learn how to type and you’ll always be able to find work’
  
  
• that music is still alive and kicking
  
  
• that I can’t see any reason for Caun and I to ever break up
  
  
• that 40 some odd people took the time to come to Vegas for my wedding
  
  
• that I have no remaining debt for said wedding
  
  
• that I was promised money, a good home and friendships in all walks of life when I was little…and I have it.
  

Monday Musings

SIGHHHHHHHH Just another manic monday. You know, I'm not an alcoholic, but sometimes I play one. Over the course of the weekend, I indulged in: 2 tequila sunrises, 3 shots Petron, 3 Marguritas, 2 Mojitos, 1 lemon drop, and 3 Coronas. Oh Yea! The weekend was tipsy!


It started as I think I said Friday, with me going home to up my sexy quotient. During the day it was requested that CAUN join the classmates. See I have a husband that everyone and their momma likes. So now apparently he has deemed himself some kinda auxillary member of our class. Had the nerve to be singing in the tune of our song "I'm so glad - I screwed a girl from Washington High" I'mma need him to DO SO MUCH BETTER! So after fine tuning his own sexiness - we hung out. Had a ball. I think somewhere between the shots of petron, I agreed to head up the 25th reunion activities co-anchored by my girl 'crane', I have to check on that.


Saturday found me in a theatre attempting to keep my left eye from jumping out the side of my head in search of some asprin as Spiderman got his ass whupped in stereo sound. Whew. What an assault for the hungover. I liked it. I don't know about all these feelings superheroes be having these days. It's not their job to feel, it's their job to kick ass and take names later. I'm not sure of the actual plot - but it was the best stringing together of fantastic CGI I've seen this year, lol lol. Shrek and Pirates of the Caribbean are in the next couple of weeks. Can you say overload!

That evening saw me at the fight party out Tynomites. Always have fun out there. The chili cheese dog nachoes were banging and as usual she had stellar alcoholic treats. Ok, so I've never been a beer drinker. Have had Coronas only like once I can remember. Well let me say that I have fallen in love with that mess. I was feeling em as evident by the fact I switched to them from drinking cocktails. It was something sexy bout the whole thing. My own personal sexy/grown thing - drinking from that bottle. I enjoyed them so much so that I'm going to buy me some for the house. (diet exit stage left).

Here's a joke, how many men does it take to change a diaper?

The fight was cool. I think Mayweather fought a very good technical fight, but I liked De La Hoya. They both were pretty pretty pretty however, lol

So here's an interesting development. I've been put on restriction. Monetary that is. We are trying to do better and get off the party train. When Caun told me about this new development in light of my nickle and diming on the debit card which sends us into a tailspin. I pulled out my two 'oh baby' moves. Move one is to flash him, move two is to give him the big pretty brown eyed look. Neither of them worked - so I'm on restriction. I have no problem with it, it will definately make me be conscious of what I'm spending and that's a necessary evil. We got stuff coming down the pike and we want to be able to enjoy those things and not be living check to check.

I had some great news come down the wire on Friday, regarding a writing gig I applied for - however, due to the nature of it and the fact that I have to be incognegro - can't tell ya'll about it (what don't call me that, lol) Just know that I am excited about it and I hope that it works out.

Well let me get started filling out camp information. Got a call today about Goddess Monroe sleeping in class. Apparently she told the teacher that she was hanging out listening to music and watching tv!! Caun and I are knocked out under the bed by about 10:30, so this is very possible. I've already typed out the new rules and will just place them in the backseat. No need for any conversation. Huzzy!