Looking Thru The Window

What's up PEOPLE?!?! Hope folks are doing well. I won't go into the long, I need to do better about blogging. I had my blog heyday back on Emancipation - I'll blog here when the mood hits me.

So I guess I should have really taken the time to self-promote in reference to the whole webblog awards thing. I hope someone nominated me, so at least I was on the ballot, lol lol I wrote some powerful stuff over on Emancipation, I feel like Marz and I are running close in terms of personal blogsites. I will however, support the finalist and read some of the ones that I have never heard of.

Are you not LOVING this season of Noah's Arc? I am so glad this show came back on. As always Rod 2.0 gives up to the minute news and a GREAT recap of the show! I turned some more females onto it and after getting over their uncomfort, they are hooked. Cause it's good TV.

I've blessed you all with the listing of Season Premiere's for some of our favorite shows over in the Hollylicious portion of the page - make sure you check those out.

The Blacks (thanks Trent) are not impressing me with anything musically lately but Justin (damn a tittie, I can't wait!) and Christina are WORKING IT!

My take on this idiot: I think that he became morbidly obsessed with this little girl post-mortem and has convinced himself that he loved and thus was responsible for her death. I'm just not believing that he did it at this point. I also am wondering what REALLY was happening in the world when the press 'jumped the shark' and bombarded us with this weirdo, and now are kinda backing up off of it because the information is shady at best. If gas jumps to $8.00/gallon or something else - we'll know. The media/press is famous for diverting our attention from what we really should be trying to check out. However, I'm happy this has allowed Geraldo's dick to get hard again! Viagra has NOTHING for this man, lol lol

If you did not have a chance to check out Spike Lee's Documentary Case Study of Hurricane Katrina on HBO (reairing in it's entirety on Tuesday, August 29th) PLEASE get someone to tape/burn it for you. Powerful is all I have to say. Difficult to watch - - Generational Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -- how can we pile anymore on the stuff we already got?! Thank you Spike for making sure it doesn't get REWRITTEN (damn shame!).

Home life is going good. We got a real nice groove going and our schedules, our free time and just our lives are overlapping seamlessly and happily. CAUN and I are still very much in love and very happy. We both keep shaking our heads at how blessed we are. I find it difficult to not just gush because the man is still presenting me with things to love him for daily. I never really got the concept of 'falling in love' because I'm too analytical for that - but last week, I found my heart racing and my pulse pounding and getting woozy just looking at him (no life) and it dawned on me, I'm falling...again. It's like a tumble down a cotton mountain - just powerful.


Lately however, the most emotionally satisfying and charged feelings I have encountered are the ones surrounding the budding relationship between CAUN and MINI-ME. It takes alot of courage for a woman to step back and allow a relationship to develop between a man and their child - it's probably the hardest and most difficult phase of moving into a couple spectrum. If you are long-term single (like I have been) or have ANY issues with men yourself, this is a step that actually could place you in the position to really just not be truly open to love, because you can't give up your fears about the future. We can't predict the future and the step on faith that we as women take when we involve our children in relationships - is just that, a step on faith. There are 'step' kids in various communicado's with their former step parents all over the United States (I use just us because our culture is a bit different and the one I know). Some of them are no more worse for wear and some of them have been scarred by the continual induction and then disappearance of male figures in their lives. However - YOU CAN'T STOP LIVING! I'm such a firm believer in that. Now maybe I, personally, have a different story thus it isn't so hard for me. I can't speak for other sisters, but I'm allowing CAUN access to my daughter, there will be no separate/secret relationship she and I have the precludes him (you know you see that - the man is not really respected because the mother/daughter have a 'side' relationship where the mother is undermining the influence, authority and involvement of the man). We are going to be a family DAMMIT! LOL

Now my position as a step-parent is still in the embryo stages. What I have learned is that if there is a break in the chain, it's not going to work - because no matter how much your link is working, there is still that broken link that makes the chain incomplete and weak. Having grown up in a situation where I had three stepmothers at the same time and there was no overt separation, I came into this slightly naive about exactly what my role and responsibility is. I've come to the conclusion however that I have 'responsibility' to everyone directly related to him. He has responsibility to everyone who he has claimed as 'his' - his responsibility is broader than mine - but I'm in the loop by association as his current. I get in where I fit in and it might or might not be a 'fit'. As well as, I have NO responsiblity to things that are out of my control. I am only in control of myself.

Wedding plans are creeping forward - FIVE MONTHS TO GO!! I've chosen a dress for me (it really doesn't have to be that nerve wracking) and Mini-Me and Baby Chocolate Pound Cake. So it's moving along. I don't feel under the gun, but the gun is visible on the table, lol Anybody got some winning lottery numbers?

So I know this is long and whatnot - but I felt like writing.

Tomorrow - Attention Whore Disorder, should you fret if you have it?