The Nine Lives of GoodBeds

Goodbeds is five years younger than me. I remember being sooo excited about him coming into the world. On the day of his birth, however, he almost didn't make it. He was breech and the birth was quite difficult. He came out ass first with the cord wrapped around his neck and legs holding him in a jack knife position. He was NAVY BLUE! Then story goes the Dr. ripped off his mask and blew breath into him and another black baby was screaming and hollaring at Crawford Long (No Grady Babies Here, lol)

As he developed, it became apparent that he was going to be a precocious one. Dennis the Menace didn't have ANYTHING on this nut. The joke became he came out ass first and he's been ass backwards ever since. This boy kept us in stitches and still does as a man. So I thought I'd devote this "I Don't Want to Grow Up" Blog to my Brother 'Good Beds'.

• Growing up back in the day you were always on the hunt for something while you played. You could spend all day on treasure hunts and the like. We lived in what could be termed a dream house for kids. We lived in an old daycare. YEP! and the owner just left alot of stuff there. Sooo we had an entire play room and play ground right in our back yard. Now we also had three toilets in each bathroom and a huge metal sink in the living room, but hey our house was the bomb! One of the main rules was if you found something electric DON'T PLUG IT IN!!! Well Good beds would have none of that. He had found a tape recorder and really wanted to see if it worked. He damn well knew the rules, but I could never stop him from doing anything and as a matter of fact - he would convince me to do the craziest things. I remember being upstairs with my mom when you heard this loud pop and the house literally shook and all the lights went off. We rushed down to the basement and there lay Good beds and my younger sister - badly shaken up. What the hell happened you asked? That fool plugged that damn tape recorder in but as a 'safety' measure told my sister to hold his hand so that if he started getting electrocuted she could pull him away!!!!!!! Both of them got shocked and busted all the fuses. My mom was like she could have lost two children that day! He got whipped.



• Ok this boy had a standing appointment to get whipped. No lie, he would stop playing go in the house get whipped wait a minute and come on outside. There was no point in punishing him or he would have stayed in his room till he was grown. I remember one time - he was about to get a good one and my mom commendeer all of us to help her chase him down (he was a runner). He ran to his room and slid up under the bed - now if you can visualize this my mom is on her knees swinging the belt under the bed trying to hit him. Then she says "TAKE THE BED APART!" So here we are literally taking the sides of the bed apart. We lift the mattress and he is nowhere to be found! Then we turn the bottom of the box springs around and this fool has gripped onto the box springs like spider man and literally when we carried the box springs out the room to place in the hall - he went with it! We all fell out laughing and he was spared an ass whipping - that day!



• Remember when marbles were the shyt? Everyone had them even if you couldn't play like myself. Well Goodbeds was always in trouble for eating on things - once he stuck his head in the toilet and sucked the deodorizer, then he would just chew on anything plastic none of his toys had hands and feet! Well one time we were playing marbles and he decided to suck on one of the huskies and it accidently went down his throat and he started to choke. WE WERE HOME ALONE! So here I go calling 911 and telling them he's choking, meanwhile he's all on the floor gasping for air etc. The following folks showed up at the house at the same time: EMS, Fire Department, Parents. It was a hot mess. They all burst into the house and old boy was laying there and then just like that he sat up and said "Whew I finally swallowed it! To this day that Husky has NEVER made a reappearance.

Goodbeds is now the Father of four and in the spirit and likeness of our daddy - he makes furniture for a living. He is still the life of the party and whenever we all get together - ultimately stories of the nine lives of Goodbeds comes up.