Thursday, November 02, 2006
Brainwaves 11/2/06

Attitude Adjustment



**Confessional ON**

I am becoming in my mind more 'siddity', 'asseholish' and 'picky'. I have always taken the martyr approach to life to try to 'relate', but now I'm seeing my stuff ain't HALF as bad as most folks. I guess I just never imagined the level of drama folks insist on living their lives in. I listen, read and watch daily all these people and all this bullshit and I really don't have those kind of issues - so why do I have to act like (1) I understand and (2) It's the norm and I'm not. I feel like a kegger about to go off and just tell some people - you life is F'ed up, deal with it, lol

This might be clarity or this might be trippin, I have yet to decide - but all of a sudden I just feel real STANK, lol

I know this might turn alot of folks off - but frankly I'm not plussed (notice I didn't say I didn't care). I have always been a bit cocky but it seems that this roll over to 40 has done some things to my attitude. I think I balance these two sides of me quite well, because I really do care about some people, their plights and issues and what not - but DAYUM. I'm on my kick right now and the pitiful bullshit is clogging up my pores!!!! I just wanna be about me, talk about me, look at me and plan for me. SELFISH MOTHERFUCKA IS I!

I guess I shouldn't swing to far out there, because I might need a nigga if I need some drama release. But I'm out there right now - so if you just get the nod from me, then yea I heard yah - but I really dont' wanna hear yah whining.

**Confessional OFF**
 
posted by Pamalicious at 9:48 AM | Permalink |


2 Comments:


  • At 10:29 AM, November 02, 2006, Blogger Enigma

    Simply put you want to be happy about being you. I do not blame you. This is YOUR time to be happy and excited. I am sure if it was life or death or something very serious you would be down, but right now, you are on top of the world and want to stay there. Understandable to me.

     
  • At 10:38 AM, November 02, 2006, Blogger Pamalicious

    Well it's a little more than that - I've been a vessle for problems since as long as I can remember. I just have come to the realization that I have 'feelings' about folks and their issues and I have to not listen because I am at the point where I would hurt someone's feelings and not give my standard "pam gives such good advice" - I don't know how long it's going to last, lol Maybe it has something to do with the man and the wedding or maybe not - I'll let ya'll know when the rug comes out from up under me, lol cause I'm setting myself up for folks not to give a damn about me and my issues when they surface