Potty Mouth

To the person who takes a regular nuclear bomb shit everyday at around 2pm - CAN YOU BRING SOME AIR FRESHNER?!

We really don't need to hear folks audition song for American Idol while we are on the public toilet.

If I come to some of ya'll house - will I see your sanitary napkin on the shelf? If not why would I want to see it at work?!

I looked at the distance between the toilet and the trashcan - why does everyone keep missing the trash can?

I wonder if anyone has ever told that cute guy who empties the trashcans to come on in - when they are in there, lol

Why do so many people pretend they don't sit on the toilet - most of us are overweight - who is really doing all that balancing?

Why don't they make women's stall all handicapped size - DAMN we need the room!

Why do men have time to go and READ in the public toilet?

I wonder if someone is watching us?

LOL LOL LOL

Soooo - I'm a curser, I admit it. I have been cursing since I was around 12. I can't quite remember who taught me how to cuss but I'm sure the road crosses paths with my older brother. Language was always so important in our family that cursing just seemed like a natural progression. I started small like alot of folks - I guess my first words were the simple ones Ass and Shit. But by the time I got to say the 9th grade - whooo weee, my mouth was filthy. It was how I added my edge. I was corny as all get out - but cursing gave me swagger. By the time I was in the 11th grade, I could 'curse like a sailor' and used it quite often. I eventually got reprimanded by my males friends as just cursing to damn much, lol.

Now the thing that makes my cursing somewhat unique is my ability to cut it on and off. My Daddy always told us that cursing was one's inability to use the correct words. Well I know/knew words so I cursed strictly to be cursing. There is something, even today about a well placed curse words. I still am not one to use the more vulgar ones in everyday conversation - but Hell, Ass, and Damn are as commonplace as Chair, Table and Stove.

Cursing turns me on, lol A well placed vulgar word can do wonders for a sista. It gets me giddy. However - for some reason cursing for the sake of cursing does not i.e. Def Comedy Jam. Just saying a word to hear yourself say it - is not appealing. An example of a CLASSIC cursing scene that makes my toes curl is in the movie Life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence - they are now old and Martin asks "Why do you always gotta be so nasty?" to which Eddie replies "CAUSE I'M A NASTY MUTHAFUCKA" oooooo oooooo ooooo - I am tingling, let me stop, lol

As a story telling I liken my cursing to the greatest curser of modern times Richard Pryor. R.I.P. He didn't just curse just because his curse words weaved a magical tale and I use my curses to do that as well.

Another roll on the floor curse moment came from Dave Chappelle and Wayne Brady Skit - I can almost 'taste' the way Wayne Brady went totally out of character and said "Is Wayne Brady Going to Have to Slap A Bitch" LOL LOL but the funnier was "Dave Hoes, Hoes Dave" "Evening Bitches" LOL LOL LOL
I choose not to use Bitches in my language and I rarely use hoes but I will use skank and yamp. When I discovered yamp oh boy that was my word for a minute, lol

When I had Mini-me I thought like alot of things I would be able to stop. Well for a little while sure, but then it crept back in. So yes I do curse in front of Mini-me the 'approved' words I mentioned above. However I do NOT curse at here. So now that puts me in a quandry - somewhere she's cursing, lol How can she grow up around it and not adopt it to some degree. How do I feel about this? Have I been disrespecting her? Parenting is so damn hypocritical - don't you think?

Another thing is that for my ENTIRE life - I have NEVER cursed in front of my parents. I can be standing out front and be telling a story and it's littered with curse words walk in the house and not use a one. If you know language then you are not substituting therefore you can cut it on and off.

The saint that CAUN is (sigh) he is not a curser - yet somewhere in his life he has because he knows the rules of engagemnt. The few times I've heard him loose and relaxed and cursing - has turned me on even sexually. He's a story teller in training and therefore he uses them in a descriptive nature and it works. However, because (1) mini-me is getting older and (2) CAUN is not a frequent curser and (3) not sure how 'classy' it looks now that I'm 40 - I have been 'toning' it down and rediscovering other words to tell my stories.

THIS ADULT SHIT SURE IS HARD! lol lol