Monday Musings

What it be people?! I had a good weekend and hope you all did as well. Though my body was in relax mode, my mind was ever busy this weekend. I just couldn't shut it off. So I'm sorry but it really is worth reading.....

Wanna know how you can tell you grown, when folks your age start dying of things you didn't think you could die from. This whole Gerald Levert passing (RIP) was on my mind heavy this weekend. First, I thought about the fact that I got, lets see, 2 CNN Breaks, 1 AJC Breaking News about Brittney Spears filing for divorce, but I damn near had to call Cleveland to verify Geralds passing. Actually I verified it on WIKIPEDIA. They had added a blurb. Alrightyy then! Next was the realization that I was a Gerald Levert fan, lol. Like when Aaliyyah passed (RIP) I got to thinking about their music and it was a situation where I couldn't tell you one song name or album, but I had plenty of their work. One of my FAVORITE songs that I play all the time on the IPOD is by Gerald Levert, 'Funny you would call today.' Next it brought not necessarily my own mortality but that of my beloved...Michael Jackson. CAUN kinda beat me to it, when I brought it up that he would come get me if it happened while I was in a place where it wouldn't be safe for me to drive home and he would allow me the time I would need to mourn. Then, I got really sad because who in the hell was going to now do all the BET shows!? Gerald Levert was a fixture. That brother was a SANGER (not singer but SANGER) and his performances were good and he was always on the Walk of Fame and then the Sky Show etc. etc. TV One pulled out that sky show and an appearance on Showtime at the Appollo Saturday night.

Over this weekend (and it seems all us heathens got issues this Monday Morning) I finched everytime I heard "He's in a better place" Sorry, can't get with that. My Daddy and Late Husband are NOT in a better place, they are D-E-A-D. A better place would be for my Daddy to be here surrounded by his Grandchildren, for him to be walking me down the aisle. So as they used to say in NYC - Dead that! Not of my particular belief system at all. I been to a cemetary - wasn't all that impressed as to it's 'better place' ranking! Now I know, I know - some folks are hopping around toes crunched from the stilletto I just stepped on them with. I even know that it can offer comfort to the 'believers', but I'm just saying that ain't never offered no comfort to me.

I walked hard on the treadmill this weekend. I upped the speed and walked more distance. As I felt the sweat pour off of my body, and DeeJay was 'Whooping some trick' the struggle we all have with weight, going to the Dr., getting our men to go to the Dr. was on my mind. I won't sit here and say I had some kinda epiphany and that now I'm on some mission just so I can fall off of it next week, when the world has moved on from this passing - but I have stopped fighting the treadmill - it is NOT the enemy. I walked about 3 miles last week and I already have walked 1 1/2 as of yesterday for this week. I will continue to TRY!

Another thing I thought about was when I came into the blogger sphere, for some reason I came into it with this vision of...honesty. I just 'assumed' that this world was different than say the discussion group world. Them negroes lie like fur rugs - but to me blogging was this entry into 'truth' who would sit around and pour their heart out and it be a lie? Well as I've blogged well over a year - I now know that human nature is what it is. I have seen petty fights, I have myself, caught an attitude on here and on somebody's elses blog (what the hell, that's their world). I have also witnessed people who speak such a 'truth' but are living such an alternate reality to what they speak.

However, is it really a lie - or are all of these facets what make up people to begin with? Can you really speak with volumes of say morality and still be hoe? Can you speak with the voice of God and break all 10 commandments daily? Can you be the voice of wisdom but be the most confused person you know? More importantly, is it anybody's duty to make this known. To call out a person - or is the blog itself an alternate universe where you can close your legs, believe in your god and get your mind straight? Hmmmmmm is all I got to say, Hmmmm.

I want to be braver on my blog - say more of my mindspace and not curtail it - I see folks who speak their mind FOR REAL - all aspects of it. I want to reveal my prejudices, my bias', my stankness, my funkiness, my bitch - I need to release that....I'm working on releasing that...I'll warn you before I blow, lol

So ya'll this week is all about how to plan a wedding on 6 paychecks! I have a ton of charts, graphs, prayer cloths and other things to assemble, LOL The gig will be taking a back seat this week - because I am bereft of lists and so my world is currently chaotic. I must get back on track!

This week I said I would be celebrating my celebrity - but my lazy ass didn't really put that whole concept together so we'll see. I've seen some good meme's out there so maybe I'll do a couple of those and I have some interviews (Ya'll know I love being questioned) so that just might work.

Take care my people and next time I'll have something to do over the weekend, cause ya'll see what happens when it's just me and my mindspace, lol lol