Conception, Prematurity and Birth

Last nite while I was was getting some (oooooo) - a blog came to me. Well it actually was forced upon me and as I was shifting and shuffling what turned out to be a VERY long day emotionally, into it's proper compartments so I could get wrapped up in the matter at hand, it started to form itself like...conception.

You have to love people and the human spirit, especially when they are attached to your friends. It is their job (if they are sincere) to go to bat for you and bust you upside the head with that same bat if necessary. Out of all the topics that I have addressed, I don't think I've addressed one that on and off is a 'hot' topic among folks, whether they know I know or not and that is.......Are we doing this marriage thang to soon?

On January 20, 2007 in Las Vegas as we stand before family and friends, it will mark one year (give a day we moved it back so as to not be on a Sunday) of CAUN and my first date. At 40 and 38 respectively - we both are of the school of thought that it may seem like a short time to YOU - but based on our life journey it's been a 'long time coming'.

I am of the school of thought and belief that the life cycle of the gestation of a baby in their mothers womb - has many significant meaning. The entire cycle of a woman in general means alot to this universe. I think that all ideas and relationships follow that gestation period. I think that alot of us have adopted the elephant philosophy about things, because we are not sure of our own ability to follow a regular human gestational period.

At three months you start to show - in my world, it ony takes 90 days for someone to reveal themselves to you. The cusp of what and who they are, will come forth in those 90 days. At six months, you have a viable fetus that can survive on it's own - All of the foundation for life is formed and ready to go, you might need to jumpstart it and nurse it for awhile but it is living. At nine months, you have birthed whatever it is you are going to birth. Sure - as it develops and becomes it's own entity you are going to have to nuture and put in place the foundation that will allow it to survive out here in the world, but it's here and it's strong and it's survivable.

You also need to look at what 'genetics' you are bringing to the table and you have got to ascertain what the other person is bringing. If there are deep genetic flaws then you might not want to 'procreate' with that person. It is soo important that as you move through life, you be very aware of the relationship resume you are formulating. Folks remember your past, even if you choose not to and will bring it up to you, sometimes at the most inopportune time. Whatever it is - it might not be that it is WRONG, you just been mixing potions with the wrong chemical balance. All things don't have to end in a huge explosion!

One of the first things I did once CAUN and I realized that we had 'impregnanted' one another was to draw a nice hot bath, light some candles and very gently but determinly wash off all the footprints tatooed on this brothers back. Sometimes I had to get a scraper! He is a whole shade lighter! Now if he has feet on him it ain't cause I'm trying to take advantage of his kindness or drain him dry (well the jury is out about that last statement - wink).

I just want to assure those that are just doing their duty by making sure that old mistakes are not repeated and that nobody has tied up and gagged the man with the red flags, so he can't throw them and pierce our hearts.

The earth is continuously spinning and we have to move forward, we can't predict the future, we can only continue to work on subsiding the fear that attempts to keep us still in an ever moving world. EVERYONE has issues and problems and things they need to improve - it is our job not to assign our personal journey to the journey of others. I don't have that kinda fear. I didn't have it when the most prolific man I've ever been exposed to passed, my daddy and I didn't have it when I sat in a courtroom trying to wrap my mind around why these men stabbed my husband of 10 years 23 times leaving his six month old daughter daddyless and I don't have it now as I get prepared to spend the rest of my life with someone whose chemicals balance quite well with mine - -

I think I'll just paraphase Jigga when I say -

WE GOT 99 PROBLEMS
BUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AIN'T ONE