UNCLE DAMMIT UNCLE!

It started last night. I had thrown away my shower cap and was waiting on dear hubby to bring me my daughters. It allowed me some time in the bathroom in front of the mirror. I watched before my very eyes my body turn into THIS:

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I slid down onto the floor and just wallowed in several puddles of self pity. I really can't understand (there is some kinda blockage) why I just can't do the damn thing and at MINIMUM go back to the size I was before. I am so angry at myself! I got all these blessings and I can't even focus on losing a little weight.

For every good thing I'm doing diet wise - there's a bad thing you know. I got to thinking about the fact that the average life span for a diabetic is around 67-68 years old. That's just some reality for that one. Everyone I've seen die of complications from Diabetes as they like to put it - has died around that age. I'm 40 now. That gives me what 28 more years!! That's not any time with precious future grandbabies or to see my daughters become all that they can be. I only got TWENTY YEARS with my beloved Husband?! I think the hell NOT!

I am at an age where a mere 'diet' is not gonna help me. I have to expend some energy and it can't be in my fingers. My fingers are the finest on the planet seeing as I type my way to fitness day in and day out.

I walking around like I'm the shit and I know some haters are like: Yea but you fat! and let's keep it really real - I'm sure some sistas somewhere (cause we hate on this level) are mouthing daily how did SHE get HIM for her man! Fuck Yah!

THERE ARE NO MORE DAMN EXCUSES FOR THIS SHIT! I GIVE UP OKAY!! UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE YOU FATTENING FOOD SEDATE LIFESTYLE MUTHAFUCKA!!!

So I went to my husband and I laid my troubles down on his strong shoulders. He said he loves me the way I am - but I don't love me the way I am. Why do I have this curse of the weight goes to my mid-section?! I've started snoring again and that's because my vocal chords and throat are covered by fucking CRISCO! And then I asked for...help.

So we are going to join the gym together and I won't fight it. He's 6'1 and about 205 so he's only going to get finer in my eyes, but the fact that he's going to be by my side and not judge me helps.

I have a goal - 10 pounds by the time I go on my cruise. There is no way in hell, I'm going to be harpooned on my own damn honeymoon!!! I want to feel comfortable, be able to take the tours and feel sexy for.....ME!

I'm a beautiful woman and I want to be around to continue to drop it like it's hot!



Check out me and my friends diet/exercise/weight loss woes over at our sister site WEIGH TO GO GURL!