The Proverbial "Other Shoe"

I came in the house and the turkey was on the stove and he was standing in front of the sink doing dishes. Sweat had gathered on his forehead because he's a stickler for conserving money so he hadn't cut the air on. He leaned in with his customary "Hey Baby" and gave me a hot, sweaty, middle of July kiss and my heart went into a full smile as I kissed him and wrapped my arms around him. At the same time, I had a thought - that was spurred by this scene and a current topic in a popular "HS" Class....do we go into relationships waiting and hoping the 'proverbial other shoe drops'? Do those of us who have been bereft of love fail to see the 'bad side' and exactly why is it necessary to have such a terrible 'bad side' to a relationship? All questions that beg many pages of blogs, lol Yet I won't even bore you all with my extended thoughts, but just give you the abbreviated/edited ones I submitted as my daily paper there.

To Me and My life experience - I have been diligently working on self - it has not been just conversation because everyone else says it - hell an entire year of my process is documented for the world to see on my Emancipation Blog and it's been real and it's been scary and it's been the most beautiful journey I've ever taken in my life. I feel like a butterfly. I really got into the reality from the fantasy and what it was that I needed to make me feel and to allow me to love. What was it that I personally was whining about being absent in my life and IF I WERE TO GET IT would I be ready?

By keeping my eyes open and working HARD to not block the blessing and not JUDGE the blessing - I actually began on a path and there were new people on it - ideas that were more in line with mine - less drama and alot more peace.

I NEVER GAVE UP and I was realistic about the fact that alot of folks say they don't 'need' a man but I can admit that I wanted one BAD. I find that FOR ME - it is a major missing piece of my inner happiness. Now sure this came from the way I was raised in part but it also came from who I am.

And then here comes this man - he was twirling and working on himself as well and we just twirled into one another, lol.

Never in my adult life have I been convinced that a man really loves me - hell they've loved my food, they've loved my naiveness and they've loved my doggy style but have they loved ME. Well this man is the one who loves me.

ANYONE who looks at us and the way he treats me and my child - have no argument with that one. I have not had ANY opposition to the pace that this relationship is going or the way it's playing out and my friends are quite protective, lol.

This man has totally redefined 'be careful what you wish for' - we mesh on an intellectual, social, sexual and spiritual level - though we are not of the same faith. He's come into my life and taken a seat at the head of the table and EARNS the big piece of chicken daily.

He's a hard worker, he's kind, he's gentle, he takes care of his babies, he loves his momma, he's a giver, he understands that we all got problems. He supports me - we argue effectively and He has come into my babies life and she ain't never had no father that she remembers and embraced her - garnered her trust and SHE is also glowing - she called the other night and asked to speak to him about some game or something.

I had most of my shit together in a manner of speaking but he's a definite come up and he's unafraid to let the entire world know that he loves Pamela.

So the test came and I could either - sit around an analyze and over analyze and talk myself out of the blessing - becuase my heart was wide open and God did get to the P's and he had a doozey for a sista and I TOOK IT.

I'm no longer a child and each of my relationships have carved out a puzzle piece of what I like and don't like about men and about myself in relation to men - it is no longer rocket science...or a game of chance per say.

And I say all of that to say that sure he has some faults, as do I, but as long as they do not upset the entire apple cart - they will remain between he and I and actually a part of what makes our relationship special. As OPEN as I am, I actually talk TOO much - if it were something major, I would have alluded to it here. I certainly know that writing it on the bathroom wall in "HS" will only result in the continuation of the crabs in a basket phenon that thrives there.

I was asked "Is He Perfect" and I'll answer here like I answered there "for Me He Is"

I might be naive or whatever but I know of so many closets with piles of 'the other shoe' that I choose not to live waiting on that - I can always go try on those and see if any fit - we spend so much time 'waiting' 'anticipating' the wrong things. Not I said the happy one. I want to laugh, sing, giggle, gush and fill my soul up with this happiness - so it behooves me to not sit around trying to over analyze whether or not the fact he tosses his funky ass socks in little piles all over the place will cause a rift in our relationship. FEBREZE THEM MOFO'S and go on with our lives, lol lol

AND THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER 'WHY I LOVE CAUN AND CAN'T WAIT TO BECOME......HIS WIFE'