Black Movie Star Power

It’s early in the year and I was wondering what some of the folks we love to see on the big screen have in the works movie wise for us in 2007/08. So I started looking it up and then of course wanted to share. All information comes from IMDB. Click on their names to go to thier page and read up on everything they have and are doing. You can thank me later for making this oh so easy for you :)

Morris Chestnut
Perfect Christmas (11/30)- A young girl turns to a department store Santa (Chestnut) in the hopes that he will help find a new husband for her divorced mother (Union).

The Game Plan (10/5) - An NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle discovers that he has a 7-year-old daughter from a previous relationship

Samuel L. Jackson

2004: A Light Knight's Odyssey (2007)(voice) .... Fear
Lakeview Terrace (2008)(this looks good)
Black Water Transit
Cleaner (2007)
Jumper (2008)
1408 (2007
Farce of the Penguins (2007)(voice)
Resurrecting the Champ (2007)
"Afro Samurai" (2007) (mini) TV Series (voice) .... Afro Samurai/Ninja Ninja
... aka Afuro zamurai (Japan)




Blair Underwood
Nothing Currently Listed!

Larenz Tate
Nothing Currently Listed!

Monica Calhoun
Nothing Currently Listed

LL Cool J
The Man(TV/preproduction) - An undercover LAPD cop struggles to find a balance between his professional life running sting operations and his family life raising three adopted kids.

Nia Long
Premonition (3/16)- A housewife is shocked when her husband dies in a car crash and reappears the next day. She realizes it was a premonition and tries to avoid the tragedy.

Are We Done Yet (4/4) - Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.

This Christmas (11/30) - A Christmastime drama centered around the Whitfield family's first holiday together in four years. (this has a GREAT CAST)

Forrest Whittaker
Winged Creatures (2008) - A group of strangers form a unique relationship with each other after surviving a random shooting at a Los Angeles diner.

Where the Wild Things Are(voice)(10/3) - An adaptation of Maurice Sendak's classic children's story, where Max, a mischievous little boy, creates his own world - a forest in habited by fabulous wild creatures who crown Max as their ruler

Vantage Point (10/07)- With a Rashomon narrative style, the attempted assassination of the president is told from five different perspectives.

The Air I Breathe (5/07)- A drama based on an ancient Chinese proverb that breaks life down into four emotional cornerstones: happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love

Jennifer Hudson
Nothing Currently Listed!

Idris Elba
This Christmas(11/30) - A Christmastime drama centered around the Whitfield family's first holiday together in four years.

28 Weeks Later (5/11) - The film starts six months after the Rage virus has spread throughout the city of London. The United States Army has restored order and is repopulating the quarantined city, when a carrier of the Rage virus enters London and unknowingly re-ignites the spread of the deadly infection, wreaking havoc on the entire population.

The Reaping (4/6) - Hilary Swank plays a former Christian missionary who lost her faith after her family was tragically killed, and has since become a world-renowned expert in disproving religious phenomena. But when she investigates a small Louisiana town that is suffering from what appear to be the Biblical plagues, she realizes that science cannot explain what is happening and she must regain her faith to combat dark forces threatening the community

Clubbed (2007)(rumored) .... Louis

Richard T. Jones
Vantage Point (10/5) - With a Rashomon narrative style, the attempted assassination of the president is told from five different perspectives.

Oranges (2007) - No Info

(Ok, I've gotten tired, lol so I will just be posting the name and not the summaries - I will link if it sounds interesting)

Eddie Murphy
Shrek 4 (2010)
Untitled Eddie Murphy/Romeo and Juliet Project (2008)
NowhereLand (2008)
Starship Dave (2008)
Untitled Brett Ratner Project (2008)
Shrek the Halls (2007) (TV)
Shrek the Third (2007) (completed)

Queen Latifah
Mad Money(2008)(in negotiations)
Perfect Christmas (2007) Narrator
Hairspray (2007)
Life Support (2007)- True story HBO March 10th

Evan Ross
(This brother is working!)

Life Is Hot in Cracktown (2008)
Burning Sands (2007)
Brooklyn to Manhattan (2008) (filming)
Gardens of the Night (2007) (post-production)
Pride (March 23rd)

Gabrielle Union
Football Wives (2007)(TV)
Perfect Christmas (2007)
The Box (2007)


Denzel Washington
American Gangster (11/2) This looks good!

Wesley Snipes(Do I see straight to video?)

Gallowwalker (2007)
The Shooter (2007)

Ving Rhames(Damn Ving - on overload)

3/5 of a Man (2007) The story of Nat Turner! Awww Hell!
Glad All Over (2008) (pre-production)
Football Wives (2007) (TV) (pre-production)
The Perfect Game (2007) (filming) .... Satchel Paige
A Broken Life (2007) (post-production) .... Vet
Evil Angel (2007) (post-production) .... Carruthers
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (7/20)
Marble City (2007) (post-production) .... Rune
Ascension Day (2007) (post-production) .... Hark
Day of the Dead (2007) (post-production) .... Captain Rhodes

Will Smith
Time Share (2008)
Tonight, He Comes (doing the swirl)
I Am Legend (12/14)

Halle Berry
Class Act (2008)
Things We Lost in the Fire (10/19)
Perfect Stranger (4/13)

Regina King
This Christmas (2007) (filming)

"24" .... Sandra Palmer (21 episodes, 2007)
- Day 6: 8:00 p.m.-9:00 p.m. (2007) TV Episode .... Sandra Palmer
- Day 6: 7:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. (2007) TV Episode .... Sandra Palmer
- Day 6: 6:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m. (2007) TV Episode .... Sandra Palmer
- Day 6: 5:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m. (2007) TV Episode .... Sandra Palmer
- Day 6: 4:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m. (2007) TV Episode .... Sandra Palmer
(16 more)

Year of the Dog (2007)

Ice Cube
First Sunday (2008) (announced)
The Extractors (2008) (announced)
Are We Done Yet? (2007) (completed) .... Nick Persons

Terrance Howard(Slickback Willie is Working!)

Luke Cage (2008)(announced)(in negotiations)
Iron Man (2008)
Factor X (2008)
The Crusaders (2007) (pre-production) (in negotiations) .... Thurgood Marshall
The Brave One (2007)
Spring Break in Bosnia (2007)
Perfect Christmas (2007)
Awake (2007)
August Rush (2007)
Pride (2007)

Jamie Foxx
The Kingdom (10/28)

Kerry Washington
Life Is Hot in Cracktown (2008)
Lakeview Terrace (2008)
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (6/15)
I Think I Love My Wife (3/16)

Angela Bassett
Toussaint (2007)
Meet the Robinsons (2007)(voice)

Don Cheadle
Toussaint (2007)
Tishomingo Blues (2007)
Talk to Me (7/20)
Ocean's Thirteen (2007)
Reign Over Me (3/23)

Mos Def
Little Scarlet (2008)
The Brazilian Job (2008)
Stringbean and Marcus (2007)
Keep Coming Back (2007)
Toussaint (2007)
Be Kind Rewind (2007)

Martin Lawrence

The Better Man (2008)
Wild Hogs (2007)

Tyrese Gibson
Luke Cage (2008)(in talks). Luke Cage/Swoon,Tyrese as a super hero!
Transformers (7/4)
The Take (2007)

Megan Goode
Sundays in Fort Greene (2008)

Taraji P. Henson
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Talk to Me (2007)
Smokin' Aces (2007)



Spike Lee
Untitled Inside Man Sequel (2008) (announced)
Selling Time (2007) (pre-production) (in talks)
M.O.N.Y. (2007) (TV) (pre-production)


John Singleton
Luke Cage (2008) (announced)


Let's support our peeps!!!!

Bringing It Back Concert Style

Well I am sitting here yawning after a somewhat late night with Justin Timberlake and Pink. First, let me say that I am SOO SPOILED with the whole seats in the box thing. How civilized is that place? I love it. I will have a hard time coming back among the rest of ya'll when we concert again, lol

We got there in a timely fashion and after getting marguritas which actually wern't that bad. The stage was HUGE! Pink commanded it pretty well and then she popped off on some ole Circus Soliel stuff and starting spinning from ropes in the ceiling etc. That immediately brought up grains of hate that rimmed my drink seeing as she had that kinda upper body strength. We intend to definately have someone teach us that next, lol

Justin's show was great. Alot of money was spent on his stage show. There were lights and sliding stages and lasers and spinning aparatus' and these really cool screen props that allowed you to see him and additional video and light shows.


The stage outline was actually a functioning bar - so those people sat right at the stage and got their drink on and enjoyed the show. Atlanta being the Attention Whore that is is - certainly produced Clifford aka T.I. for his performance on Justins Song. He looked like curious george with this red knit hat on, lol lol He got down though.

There was a segment headed up by Timberland that had me about to ask for some estacy. It was quite the alternative mixing extravaganze that included imagery of Mike, Aaliyah, Missy, some new folks he's dealing with etc. etc. Also TIMBERLAND HASN'T LOST A POUND! He's the same size he's always been - he's just made that mess hard by working out. That is not cute people.


Justin was alot thinning than I imagined and what I liked about him was that he was presenting himself as your average joe keebler. He was respecting the game and the influences he had copped to get where he was at - but he was not mimicking them. He had on a suit and a hat, looked like an old school insurance salesmen from the 80's or something, lol lol He also took time to showcase his 'talent' on instruments. Played quite a bit of piano etc. He certainly had enough material between the two CD's to carry a show the show.

As I looked around that arena in my birds eye view - it became apparent to me that you really can't blame celebrity and their penchant to start to trip good or bad. To realize that every seat is filled with someone not only coming to see you but claiming to love you is overwelming. Especially when in the big scheme of things what you do is...entertainment. I am almost sure that most 'celebrities' sit sometimes on their toilets and just laugh laugh laugh at the luck of the draw. Amazing.

He sounded very good, he was dancing his ass off and it was a good concert. Here is a clip courtesy of Youtube of the concert, lol Gotta love em!





Because now I'm feeling all 'poppy' - I wanted to combine this with a Wayback Wednesday Moment and paste two of my favorite performances featuring him.

Laughing at....myself

I was riding to work this morning trying to decide if I was going to tell ya'll this story, and just burst out lauging and was like "yea - if I'm going to be more real, then you need to see me beyond surface level"

Let me begin by saying. I have this uncanny knack to just be clumsy and basically just not be able to stand on my feet. I don't know what in the world happens to me.

It began a long time ago. I remember declaring my love for a boy by stepping outside my door to google at him at the bus stop, slipping and sliding completely down the walkway and landing at his feet, lol. I remember the very first time my late husband came to visit me at my fathers house, me falling down the steps and landing at his feet in a heap. The funniest party? My daddy goes "Don't worry, she just does that sometimes". I think my equilibrium is just off or something.

Here is another classic Pamalicious moment, chronicled on the Emancipation Blog. Yes really, I fell forward while on the toilet and basically my forehead caught me on the edge of the tub. Seeing as I'm short and squatty, I couldn't reach the ground to push myself up and couldn't get the right momentum to swing myself back up. So I just sat there for a minute - until I finally could rock enough to reach and eventually pull myself up. I had a spot in the middle of my forehead that day, lol.

Since it comes and goes, I sometime forget about it. Lately, however, my "Final Destination" moments have reappeared in a big way.

Here I am sitting in the living room watching TV and chiling with Caun. I had a glass of my diet Wylers Cranberry punch and it had alot of ice in it. Well when I tipped the cup, everything flew forward and I hopped forward to not spill it on the couch and my shirt. When I stood up to prevent the spill, I tripped over the coffee table and went sailing, I righted myself before I hit the floor and then some kinda way tripped again, still holding the cup mind you, I am propelling forward and all I can think of is that it was gonna hurt so I was determined to NOT FALL! I got so scared as I slid into the kitchen that I then began peeing on myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally I got in balance and then burst out crying. CAUN came in the kitchen and had that WTF? look on his face......

---

When I am at work, I sometimes sit with one leg bent under me, well of course your leg will go to sleep. I had on a skirt and heels. I decide to move my leg to keep the circulation going and my heel snags in the hem of my skirt - BLAM! I try to get up and just hit the floor of my cube. So now I am tangled up in the chair on the floor in my cube!!! A public location! I do the infamous hop up and just get to walking, lol lol lol Lawd help a sista! I laughed about that the rest of the day. Just plop all over the floor of the cube!

---

And finally..the story that sparked this whole thought..

Hmm so we were 'doing what grown folks do' the other nite and I was doing this whole sissors move (LOL) Well our bed is still on the floor and so we end up utilizing the floor nine times out of ten because for some reason black folks always make it an olympic sport, lol lol As I was flipping around, we started sliding on the floor - my shirt, which I still had on, started sliding as well......right around MY NECK! So we grooving and at first I didn't really care but then it started getting tight. I was at an angle and so all my weight was moving forward thus tightening the shirt even more. OH MY DAMN, I'm starring in a Snuff Movie and didn't want to! So I'm in a mental quandry. I'm almost there but yet I can't breathe (LOL). CAUN isn't noticing anything - he's bout ready to slide into homebase! TOUCHDOWN! and with that I am totally bereft of air. I start beating on his back and he mistook that move as apparently unadulterated pleasure and proceeds to use that as feul to his own HOME RUN! Now I'm totally out the mood and....SCARED! Dayum! Dayum! HOMERUN! He moves into recovery mode but now all his weight is on me pulling the shirt TIGHTER! He opens his eyes and I am there clawing and gasping for air! He hops up and I rip the shirt off and let me tell you I was scared as shyt! I was taking huge gulps of air. My neck had strangulation marks all on it and everything. So I can safely say that yea it was sort of provocative to be choked a bit while doing the do - but I won't be going down that road again anytime soon! It took a good 30 minutes before we fell out laughing about that one.


So there you have it - I got ISSUES, lol but I certainly can laugh at myself about them and I give you permission to laugh about them too :)

CAUN turns 39!

Not A Sean Jean...WATCH!




Well Cauns' birthday went fabulous! We had a goodtime just celebrating how wonderful he is and has been to us. I left work around 12:30 and got the house all ready. Now I am tired, but I still have a bit of homework to go. Enjoy the rest of the pictures.

Tomorrow - It's all about JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE in the VIP box! OH YEA!!




We are a family of decorations!



The Gift Table



Surprise! Happy Birthday!



Mini-me and CAUN enjoying the first of several trips to Sean Jean Land



Is that a pillowcase that says Pam & Reggie forever? Thanks Ma!



LA Lakered Down! He's beside himself



The Birthday Meal. Lamb, Steak, Bowtie Pasta and Asparagus




The Matrix candle blow out



It was a good birthday!

HAPPY SAVIOURS DAY!

Monday Musings

Wow about Jennifer Hudson. Every once in awhile they have to show the masses what they claim this country was built on. So that little gal who was just trying to be a contestant on American idol, who was told "she wasn't in the big leagues" and then she disappeared from public eye only to come back in a remake of a Broadway Classic and win every Theatrical Award on ONE FILM. Amazing! I still say that she needs to be very careful. She's like a 9 year old that gets skipped to the 8th grade. Yes they are plenty intelligent to belong with the 13 year olds but developmentally they are still....9. I hope she has the right people guiding her career because my first question is with the drought of good sound black movies; um what is next for her in terms of pictures. However, with her winning that opened her up to be the 'black friend' in some mainstream stuff - so we'll see. Eddie just having "Oscar Nominee" by his name will boost his work and Will Smith needs to win something!

Forrest Whittiker made my eyes mist. I think the last hurdle will be one of our 'normal everyday all black cast films' - getting best picture.

This weekend was cool. We went to see Daddy's Little Girls and Stomp the Yard at the drive in and that was cool. Sakinah fell asleep on the second movie, lol Tyler is getting better - but instead of watching Color purple all the time - he needs to watch The Best Man. That was one of the best examples of multi-storyline development that all led back to one main story and ended. Tyler, to me, keeps writing for time instead of story. It's like he said "Ok I got 15 more minutes - and he just wrapped it up. HOWEVER, Idris Elba was to die for! Whew Lawd! CAUN actually told me to go ahead and get it off my chest cause I was about to pop, lol lol. I wish they would have actually had more real frats/soros to flush out Stomp the Yard and I'm sorry but were they all on the Masters Pledge Line. Good Lawd, they looked old.

We also took a field trip to the Mountains of GA in our quest to go back to Vegas. I'll leave the name of the resort out, but it was about 45 minutes past Lake Lanier which means we were IN THE MOUNTAINS. Georgous resort and what not, but I wouldn't own any property up there. I told them that though I know their company and their creed or whatever is in line with everyone enjoying their resorts and facilities - their clientele might not feel the same. The chance that us moving around on the resort and feeling 'not wanted' was just great. There were more ZZ TOP's and Confederate Flags than I wanted to see. I would have to own my property in like Florida. I can be around keeblers all the time and be self sufficient, however, not in the GA Mountains. So we went through the whole presentation and let me tell you those condos were nice and I would like to move into having a vacation property in the future. I want to begin to travel more and more, but not right now. So we sat through deal after deal after deal until we were dismissed. We got our trip and actually it wasn't too strigent - we can't travel 7 days before or after a major holiday and it needs to be, of course, tuesday-thursday but that's cool. We gonna try to go the week after my birthday. Also we got a scratch off and we won a week either in Aruba/Puerto Rico/Jamaica. That one doesn't include airfare but the Vegas trip does. We want to try to take that one on our first anniversary. We also got a rebate for the Gas we used to come up there - so it was all good. We got our blackness OUT of the mountains before nightfall, lol.

Otherwise, the weekend was the weekend. Errands and other household things. I discovered (1) my own head of hair and (2) how to use the ceramic iron, so I will be rocking what God gave a sista...this week. I know don't keel over and yes I will be posting pictures,lol I have finally decided on a plan of action for the head and I'll talk about that later.




http://www.GlitterMaker.com/


Yes today is Caun's 39th Birthday! I think I'm more excited than he is, lol I am just a celebrating sista. I have the fandango planned for this evening. Even Mini-me is excited. Unfortunately, you'll just have to wait on the pictures etc. tomorrow.

Here's a funny tidbit: My late Husband was born on Christmas Day and Caun is born on the most holiest of Muslim (NOI) days. I tell yah! I think it just makes me feel better knowing my men need to be men close to God,lol

I can't wait to get out of here to let the celebrating begin. If you would like to leave Caun birthday wishes, please feel free to do it via the comment section here. He reads the blog and will be most appreciative!

p.s. If you would like to know more about Saviours Day - just click the link under the flag.

Falling from my thoughts

• Feeling as if I'm moving in slow motion today
  
  
• 32 ounces of water already today - thats alrighty nah
  
  
• I am neglecting my weight loss blog - maybe because I can't type and eat with a clear conscious
  
  
• Got our "Welcome Aboard Norweigian Cruise Lines" email. Aww sooky sooky nah we really going. I'm so freaking excited.
  
  
• Did I tell ya'll I retired shorts from my wardrobe last year? I now just wear cropped pants. Personally, I have never looked right in shorts to me because I am so squished up in the middle - so when I turned 40, I retired them.
  
  
• My secret pal gave me a bounty of sugar babies as a gift. I guess they really don't like me to be giving me spun crack like this. I will be getting this OFF my desk
  
  
• I suddenly burst out lauging at the notion that if I were in HS, I would certainly have had my ass beat for my cockiness by now.
  
  
• Yet I'm not ready to become humble
  
  
• I'm thinking up opening up the RFP (Request for Proposal) to acquire a new female friend, I don't know just yet.
  
  
• I will be glad when I get closer to graduation so I can plot out my post-graduate Delta Pledging
  
  
• Am loving the makeup kit that I got from Ebay. My eyes are looking quite fetching
  
  
• CAUN looking at me crossed eyed cause I got on a 'look at my titays' bra today under my sweater.
  
  
• I'm looking at CAUN crossed eyed cause he sure smelled good as he told me the AKA Convention was downtown. Nigga Wha.....?!
  
  
• Tossing shade at someone who is wrong as two left feet and still getting blessed.
  
  
• Before the day is over I will belong to MYBLOGLOG this should be interesting
  
  
• Welcoming any new folks who have tapped into my adventure - HEY WEEKENDS OFF!!
  
  
• Going to the drive in tonite. Yea we still got the same drive in I went to when I was little, lol Going to see "Stomp the Yard" and "Daddy's Little Girls" $6 for both baby!! Bringing blankets and steamed milk to get cozy. Though it shouldn't be too bad - it's suppose to be like 67 today
  
  
• In our pitiful quest to go back to Vegas, we doing a timeshare tomorrow up in the mountains to get a trip. Yea we know it's probably the usual stipulations: travel at 3am on a wednesday, with 1 bag and a red book bag, no toothpaste allowed, bring a copy of Biggie's First CD and your umbilical cord but we trying!!
  
  
• Finally a new "Anthem" has risen to the top. I held on to 'Walk It Out' for awhile cause then they came out with the remix and Andre 3000 was smoking on that, but alas I need a new one and MEM's "This is Why I'm Hot" has been given the honor! Yea that hook is fire and right in line with my current delusion that I'm the shit, lol
  
  
• Did a little 'spring/summer' shopping. I LOVE jumpsuits. I got this one in black, some bold silver jewelry and these sandles I got and it's HOT!
  
  
  
• I love the hair style I'm rocking, but I think it's catching my hairline and since I'm not rocking a lace front, I need my front - so I gotta give my head some air. I think I might actuall (gasp) wash and wet set my own hair before I put it up in braids. I did decide that I"m cutting it off whe I get back, just biding my time.
  
  
• Why do I feel like Jennifer Holiday is going to BUST A LUNG on the red carpet Sunday trying to out do Jennifer Hudson. The levels of pitiful this whole stunt represents, SIGH
  
  
• Sign it's time to 're-retire' and I am telling you - I almost sound decent singing it, lol lol besides - it's become again the big girls national anthem and I'm growing tired of it.
  
  
• Amazing Race - OH YEA All Star Edition, should be good this season.
  
  
• American Idol - I liked the first sista and her hair. That last sista (And I'm telling you) was OKAYYYYY. I wasn't tripping like everyone else. The guys better step up their game.
  
  
• Four Days till Justin Timberlake Concert.
  

Well, I hear an echo so I guess that's about it. Next week is jumping off with the most exciting:

MONDAY IS CAUN'S BIRTHDAY!!

That will be a two parter definately!

A Tisket A Tasket

I ain't got shit in the basket, lol - I'm bereft of words right now. I probably will be back later. Here's some stuff for your afternoon break, lol

By BET.com Staff Writer


Posted Feb. 21, 2007 -- Comedian Paul Mooney profiled the "Top 25 Events That (Mis)Shaped Black America." Check out the complete list below.


25. Jheri Curls
On behalf of furniture everywhere, lay off the activator. Michael hair's caught on fire, there is a lesson there. Was the Jheri curl ever cool?

24. Hurricane Katrina
Hurricane Katrina was the costliest and one of the deadliest hurricanes in the history of the United States. Katrina formed in late August during the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season and caused devastation along much of the north-central Gulf Coast of the United States. Most notable in media coverage were the catastrophic effects on the city of New Orleans, La., and coastal Mississippi. Criticism of the federal, state and local governments' reaction to the storm was widespread. Kanye West will long be remembered for his comment about George W Bush. Where were our leaders and WHERE was the help!

23. The ‘N-Word’
Is this a term of endearment in the Black community? Is it ever acceptable to use the “N-word?”

22. The Counter Intelligence Program
Nicknamed “COINTELPRO,” it is that the vehicle by which the FBI and police investigated and disrupted the activities of Black political leaders and organizations in the United States. Among the subjects were Martin Luther King’s Southern Christian Leadership Conference, the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and the Black Panthers. The founding document of COINTELPRO directed FBI agents to "expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, or otherwise neutralize" the activities of these movements and their leaders

21. Elvis
Sure, there were others – including Paul Whiteman, Benny Goodman, Pablo Picasso and Pat Boone – but Elvis was perhaps the biggest and most impactive of the Black-culture pimps.

20. Negative Images in Hip Hop
The defamation of women in lyrics, deaths related to gangster rap and how they reinforce the notion that it’s cool to be a thug, sell drugs and exploit women.

19. The ‘Bling’ Phenomenon
The “bling” phenomenon has converted old-fashioned ideas into new-fangled fads. “Bling” has been tied to blood diamonds in African, fueling the suggestion that African Americans are more interested in petty materialism than in community investment and growth.

18. Welfare
Government financial aid doled out to certain individuals, groups or entities that are unable to support themselves, Welfare has become like quicksand for far too many African Americans, in the eyes of a growing number of Americans. Is the Black community guilty of taking advantage of Welfare? Stereotypes about Welfare.

17. Justice System / Prison
Why are all our men locked up? Are we given a fair shake in the court system? Is legislation, like the Rockefeller Drug Laws, created specifically to target Black men?

Is there an event you thought should have made the list? Hit up the message boards and talk about it on the left.

16. Color struck
With “paper bag” tests and all the other nonsense that comes along with self-hate, the Black community has been plagued by a psychological disease known as “slave mentality.” And don’t forget the subsets of self-hate like the adoration of “good hair” and disdain for broad noses, thick lips and anything remotely reminiscent of our Black African heritage.

15. Ward Connerly
No Black man has worked so hard to maintain the White man’s gargantuan head start.

14. Supreme Court
Known for such landmark injustices as Plessey v. Ferguson, the Dred Scott decision and the 2000 election debacle, the U.S. Supreme Court also provided a few not-so-repulsive surprises, like the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments and Brown v. Topeka Board of Education. How does Thurgood Marshall and his successor, Clarence Thomas, fit into the High Court discussion?

13. Ronald Reagan
Perhaps the first sign what Ronald Reagan would mean to Black America was when he decided to kick off his presidential campaign in Philadelphia, Miss., with a crowd of Klansmen in attendance. The city was most famous for the murders of three civil rights workers in 1964. His presidency arguably destroyed the hopes of a generation. During his term he attempted to dismantle of public education system and created “Reaganomics,” which hindered prosperity from trickling down to the Black masses.

12. The Bombing of Black Wall Street
The sight of a happy, affluent Black community was too much for angry, jealous Whites in Tulsa, Okla., in 1921, and a false rumor was enough to spark a mass riot that left hundreds of African Americans dead, and a swath of Black homes and businesses burned to the ground. Perhaps the saddest fact associated with this historic atrocity is that the U.S. government and local media were complicit in the death and destruction.

11. Soul Food
Sure it tastes good, but it will kill you. It is fatty, salty, with too much sugar.

Is there an event you thought should have made the list? Hit up the message boards and talk about it on the left.

10. Gangs
Crips and Bloods who fight for streets they do not own. It is a blatant war on Black unity.

9. Hollywood

8. Murders of Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King
The deaths of our two greatest leaders at early ages left a void that has never been properly filled. Their lives were cut short in the midst of their most important work. Are we living up to their dreams?

7. Proud To Be Dumb
When did it become cool to be dumb? When did it become corny to be smart? Why are some Black kids “too cool for school?”

6. The Ku Klux Klan
Forged during Reconstruction, to beat back the advances of newly freed slaves after the Civil War, the KKK erupted into a fraternity of White supremacists bent on the annihilation and anarchy. It later expanded its web of hate to include, Jews, Catholics, foreigners and gays. The Klan’s usual tools of destruction are terrorism, intimidation and perpetuation of ignorance.

5. Apartheid
South Africa’s brutal system of racial segregation, enforced by the White Afrikaner population for nearly five decades, apartheid finally ended in 1994. But it took a string riots, murders and martyrs – in addition to mounting pressure from the United States and other nations to label South Africa a pariah – to force the racist regime’s hand. In a true reversal of circumstances, Nelson Mandela, South Africa’s most powerful symbol of resistance to apartheid, ascended from longtime political prisoner to president of the troubled nation.

4. Religion
The fact that both Christianity and Islam condoned slavery is an undeniable stain on organized religion. But on the flip side, Quakers and others who believed that slavery was blight on humanity, manned the Underground Railroad and waxed eloquently against its evils. In addition, the Black community’s faith in a better society carried it through the throes of inequality.

3. AIDS
If it is a biological weapon, it’s a brilliant one. What else has the power to begin emptying out the continent of Africa while wiping out the Black inner-cities of America? There are more than 40 million AIDS orphans in Africa; in the United States, Black Americans, who comprise only 13 percent of the U.S. population account for more than 40 percent of all AIDS cases.

2. Drugs
Crack, heroin, cocaine and alcohol are the most efficient ways to undermine the Black family, Black progress and Black ambition. They are far more effective in destroying Black folks than lynchings .

1. Slavery
If this doesn't speak for itself, I don't know what does.



You KNOW you wanna dance to it! No, it ain't about the sexuality - it's about the absurdity that this man spent some kinda money to make this video, lol I am hating however on his pearly whites, I gotta get me some veneers, lol lol Oh and does anyone remember a song called "Push Push in the Bush?" or am I going crazy?



BACK UP! BACK UP! You're crowding HIM! Get Yo Hot Breath off of him! Please don't make me react! (lol)

That which is Mini-Me

Ahh my baby. I haven't spoken about her in awhile, but she is doing fine. Four months into being thirteen and still standing, lol. As I hugged her last night and completed a ritual we have had since she came out the womb, I thought about when I held her entire body in my hands and now how I just kinda awkwardly hold her face because she looking me in the eye. How I would be tucking her in at this ritual and now I'm telling her she better be in bed by 11 now. How I would go downstairs and make sure her clothes were laid out etc. and now how I just go downstairs. My how time flies.

I think I mentioned before that as my journey unfolded and all kinds of things were popping off to and for me - she was experiencing the Jr. and when you think about it forced upon version as well. 2006 was a year of alot of "Come sit down mommy wants to talk to you" conversations and they aren't over yet as our world continues to twist and turn.

I wonder sometimes if I've done right by my child and then I squash that thought. I've been blessed to move about in this world and make things happen. I don't have any regrets as to how I've manipulated my life or jobs or anything else to raise my daughter. I've been SOO blessed in this area to have support systems that have faciliated me leading a somewhat 'charmed' single mom life. I went on assistance (yes that is a chapter of my life) after my husband passed so that I could stay home with her. I then switched to Widow benefits so I could stay home some more. I acquired skills that allowed me to work 'traditional' 9-5 Monday-Friday hours. I developed budgeting habits (that wern't right but worked) that kept us with an active exploratory lifestyle. I carved out an untraditional social life to take care of me, that allowed me to take care of her. She has had a seamless, well adjusted, well traveled, well fed/clothed/taken care of life. You damn right I'm poppin my collar on that one.


I worry about the effect my messed up family is having on her, the condition of her cousins, the lack of 'family' like she would want it. My issues with all of this and how that affects her. My lack of religious interest and it's impact on her life living in the bible belt. The world out there and the effect it's having on her. The cracking of the careful shell you place around your child is happening to mine's and I just dont' want her to fall out the egg.

She is a good child. She's never given me any problems and even today as she deals with all the things that comes with 13, she is still a good child in the house and more importantly out. I can clearly remember I dispised my mother when I was 13. Wrote volume and volumes about our disconnect and the foot in my neck. I worked hard to make sure that I had her by the waist but did not have my foot in her neck, so I know she doesn't like me, but she doesn't dispise me and that's a good thing. Most 13 year old don't like their parents, lol I'm glad that we are having a 'normal' mother/daughter relationship at this point. I can't ask for anything else.

She is a good student. She wants to succeed, she is in love with herself and that propels her to want to be the best she can be, yet it causes her great pain because she's constantly bombarded with others who give her self doubt. I want to cry when I see my baby trying to 'be' like 'others' while understanding that in reality they probably just want to be like her. I dont' want her reaching DOWN to be accepted, I want her to make folks reach UP. However, logically I understand that 'belonging' at 13 is so important. But the mother and the cocky mother with the beautiful child in me has to really quell the Matthew Knowles in me cause I gots me a Beyonce DON'T HATE!


We did a little exercise where we asked her to write things other 13 year olds can do/have/participate in that she can't and then the flip side of that. The first side made us laugh aloud at some things and just shake our head: apparently 13 year olds can choose what they want for dinner and don't have to sit down with the family, dont' have to be off the phone at 9:30pm, can have boys call, get money automatically when they go to the mall, get a new outfit and sneakers every month, have myspace pages, get relaxers and a couple of other things. The list on the reverse was way more telling and poignant, she doesn't have to get up and get her brothers and sisters ready for school cause her mom just got home from work, she doesn't have to wonder where her parents are, she is not being abused and/or molested by her step father, she has every modern convenience, she travels extensively, she sits down with her parents and eats a meal cooked by her mom most nights, she is exposed to theatre, art, drama, she has....parents now, she was not exposed to bad men her mom was dating, she is not left to fend for herself, she is allowed to be...13. Hmmmmm.


Mini-me has after 13 years (reminds me of CL Smooth's song TROY) got a father in the house. He arrived just in time. Pushing ahead of Raekwon and nem looking with their 13 year old dicks and minds alert and bricked, mortared and spackled a STRONG introduction to the wonders of man. She was wide eyed for awhile, but now very quietly and slowly, I've become a figure running tandem with her but in the background. It fills my heart with indescrible joy when she bounds down the steps to get 'her time' with CAUN. She wants him to come upstairs, she wants to show him things, she has conversation, she asks him questions, she puts him to the test. She made him a Valentine Day card and it came from within her and not from a template of 'you should do this'. I will NEVER be replaced in her life, but the joy that is having two is evident.


So every day is a new day and you never know what's going to happen. We might get joyful, singing Mini-me, or we might get whining mini-me, or we might get I"m going to my room mini-me or we might get a mini-me that needs to reprimanded. We have more hurdles to address from I'm not sure I like this whole younger sister thing to I dont' know if I want to visit my family, they work my nerves - but we are going to make it.

A most prolific moment happen in Vegas. I presented her with a necklace before the wedding and she said "Mom imagine one day you will be putting this necklace back on me because it's my wedding day" Hmm, let me stop - I'm about to....cry.

Forward Movement

Hey! Well I'm back in the office and the drama is raining like a monsoon, lol I'll deal with it around 11am, lol lol Maybe 11:15 depending on how I feel, lol. CAUN said his throat is starting to scratch and I betta not had given him the cooties that I had, lol lol Dang I hope not. Cause men sick is a whole nother ball game.

So Friday's post was quite an eye opener for me. First of all, the entire having my husband and my ex writing on the same forum is a huge self affirmation that (1) I made the RIGHT choice in man and (2) that I must be one hell of a woman, lol lol A quick bit of background. If you were a reader of The Emancipation, you know about Mobetta - he and I were an item for about 3 actual years and about 1 cyber year in addition to that. He was a very important catalyst in my life in terms of dating grown men and understanding how to be in a grown relationship. That relationship opened the door to the journey to where I am today and the blessing that is CAUN. That being said, Gearsofwar and I have known each other cyberly for a number of years. I can't even tell you how we met - I no longer remember, but we've never met in person, lol lol We just chat and he's an avid reader of the blog.

So after reading the three entries and laughing a long time at the psychosis that is Gears - I honed in on the other two which represented my present and my past and that offered me alot ofenlightenment on my own self.

"Another thing I loved about Stormeka was she was not desperate to make this work. She let it come to her. She was not clingy, whiney or attention needy. She did her while I did me. And finally together we did us."

What CAUN said was quite powerful because he confirmed that Pamela had made...GROWTH. Alot of times and I think I've said this before we can be 'working on self' till we blue in the face but unless it's noticed by others - you might not be making any progress at all. The person who he met - was not necessarily the person I have been in my life. I was quite surprised actually of the person who CAUN met and fell in love with, lol I am glad that while I was 'working' in 2005 that I actually have seen the results! My spirit is in quite a place now and I am so thankful to God that he allowed me to take that journey and be on it for real and actually come out on the otherside to all the riches that are afforded one who makes a real journey and not just a lip service one. In recent months here - I have had a whole heap of that believe you me and the same behaviours and patterns are in effect and the people are getting the same damn result. Me knowing that now I have the right foundation to that which is Pam spurs me on to work on other parts of myself, because there are other parts that need work. I don't necessarily believe that you never finish - because I think you can get to a place of stability, but always check your gears and make sure everything is moving smoothly.

Which leads me to Mobetta. The first question on alot of folks mind was 'how could you date a man who has that attitude about women?" Well how do women date Hugh Hefner and how do women date George Clooney and other men who have decided to remain 'single', lol. This is the thing - I will take to my grave the notion that it takes this many to be one of me......LOL (take that any kinda way you want). This is the otherside of...regret due to an inability to commit. The other question is "was he like this when you dated him?" On the flip side of the relationship, I know that this didn't just appear and that probably he was. Let me say this, he can sale water to a drowning man. He's the consummate date, entertainer, bullshit artist. I don't mean that in a negative way. I like those kinda men,lol I married one, lol - There are alot of men who operate in this manner and just like he got his four, these men have their number of women. All the growing and sighing about 'how could..' is just that, in my opinion, growning and sighing, because sistas are in these arrangements, especially corporate sisters and that's just the way it is. He's a great date, he's articulate, he's cultured, he's fun, he's attractive, he got money and benz and pools and knows his craft well......it just wasn't what I WANTED. That relationship in comparison to the one I have now was a total personal fraud. I said things and did things and took things that I really didn't want to. I lied to myself about myself and became someone in alot of respects other than myself. NEVER AGAIN!

Ahh Gearsofwar, lol lol Harsh and to the left, but not far from the mindscape of alot of brothers. I got one comment and I'd like to bring it to the front and what I said in response:

Anonymous:
I don't know where you got those last 2 so called men from, but they obviously don't like women. They have been screwed up sounds like a long time and there seems to be no hope in sight. It's just sad to hear that there are men still out there that have that kind of mentality about women. I just pray that there are more men out there like CAUN than there are those last 2.

Pamalicious:
Is it that they don't like women, or alot of women time and time again are not liking themselves thus the outcome.

We all have bad relationships and have made decisions that we regret - but believe you me more and more I am feeling Scott's 'Women say one thing and do the exact opposite'.

These men are what's going on and as you can see - they don't have a shortage of women available to them - not - at - all. So it's saying something about all of us.

I still maintain that we dictate the dating and mating scene - they wild cause we wild. We stop, they can't do anything but stop, because they will do whatever to make sure they stay connected to us.

I stand by what I said. Well let me go deal with the drama.

Monday Musings

I don't feel like blogging right now. Tomorrow stay tuned for the analysis of Friday's Fandango. Here are some pictures - PEACE!

I am having some issues with not being in Vegas for that many celebrities-dayum!

Today was just cold, but I ended up going out because CAUN caught a flat and I had to go help him. That led to the mall and then dinner.

Today was about mini-me. I have been trying to be more sensitive to the plight of being 13. It is barely working when I spend $90 on two pairs of cropped jeans and a pair of sneakers. I just end up pissed. I have to get over this. I get so flustered and overwelmed at the mall (I have spoke about this before).

I did see some things I liked. I think a lot of it has to do with single mom syndrome and how will I pay for all of this. The other is much more embarassing, and it looks a lot like.....selfishness. Yea to spend $90 on that stuff means that I have to sacrifice...again. The needs of your child just grow and grow but your money doesn't. At some point you want something and the older they get the more it takes. I am hyperventilating just typing this. Bras panties shoes hair oh my.

Another thing is just a basic mentality of we got jeans why do we need more. Things like clothes just are not on my radar. So the I'm 13 I need.....just behooves me.

I vow to work on it. I see it being difficult.

Well I am typing and all of a sudden the chocolate moon of my husbands ass is across my lap. So let me um...go.

-filed from the Trei

Well that 'one sneeze away from being sick' has caught up with me. I feel awful. I took some medicine, but it doesn't seem to be working.

I did get up and try to do a bit of cleaning. I attempted yesterday to go and begin the name change process, but that went to the left. Negroes everywhere! I was number 856 and they were on number 730-you know I left there. I need to go downtown. I'll get it done.

I booked our cruise and now we are on countdown to level 10 fun! We can't wait to just relax and chill. We will be driving to New Orleans, which should be fun in itself.

I was thinking last nite, when I woke up at like 3 am-if the blog has run it's course. Sometimes you have to know when to bow out gracefully. Has my happiness become isolating? Have I began trippin? I think I kinda got off track when I started making it kinda cookie cutter. I want to show some more of me and my different sides. Speak more about the world around me. Open up more doors, so that's what I will be doing. I feel like I have silenced myself. Falling into old discussion group habits. So I wanna get my mojo back and begin speaking more to myself and not my audience, bring it back to a more diary mode, be prepared....

I also thought about the happenstance of all the convos I have on a daily basis with folks. You wouldn't believe how much information I keep catalogued on the daily. Sometimes I can admit I get tired of folks constant hamster runs but feel honored that folks feel I am a vessel of some sort.

Well I think I will lay down. CAUN worked today and should be home soon.

Ok exactly why did Brittney Spears shave her hair off and go bald? Beyonce looks real good on SI. Seems she took those pictures when she was doing Dreamgirls looking at her weight. Go gurl!

-filed from the Treo

How Does It Feel?

Well we've been married long enough, where this question has started to pop up. Next Tuesday will make a month that I've been Mrs. Caun. Time actually is not going fast and I am savoring every single second.

CAUN says that folks have asked him and he really doesn't feel any difference, because he's been in this relationship and on this path for awhile now. Interesting, his statement leads to exactly how I feel.

I think that all of us have these 'needs' and 'wants' that we accumulate in our lives in terms of a mate. Now sometimes these lists are the very thing that stops us from getting with someone, and sometimes these list end up surprising us with their relevance and sometimes the list we made ends up not having anything to do with who we ultimately end up with.

My list, I can admit had alot of superficial things on them because I am a bit cocky and shallow when it comes to some stuff. I was hell bent on a tall, very attractive man. I don't veer from that and pride myself in consistently dating universally fine men. Not just fine to me, but nine times out of ten, fine to a whole bunch of people, lol I tried again and again to work on that, but it just wasn't happening, lol

However, the deeper more profound list was that in my lifetime I never have felt genuinely....loved and adored. The last man who gave me that feeling, and thus the only man, was my daddy and that started a crack like obsession - to achieve that high once again. I've been in a couple of relationships, because I was a serial monogmous and in all of them - I've loved only to not be loved in returned. I've had love but no man has (in my opinion) been IN love with me. Made that decision to move heaven and earth and whoop ass etc. on my behalf. I've felt alot of pain in my lifetime from this lopsidedness.

So how do I feel? I am finally a princess again. From the moment we acknowledged our love for one another CAUN has plain and simple been IN LOVE WITH ME. Marriage has just allowed the finality of that. I don't want to be a Queen in my man's eyes - that's too much work, lol I want to be a Princess and that is what I am.

CAUN is a Knight in Shining Armour and he's been doling this out to Toads for awhile now - him finally having his Princess has also brought him a great amount of peace. He carries me around and I wipe his brow and it works for us! God brought the right set of personalities together. My heart has relaxed and I can just be me.

I can say that I think he's rare, he is comfortable and manly about how he loves his woman. We both felt that we had wasted alot of our positives on people who didn't appreciate it like we wanted them to and our main coming together started on mutual appreciation of each others fabulousness, lol

I am very real with mine. I want to be be cared about. and taken care of. I feel as if I can say that and feel that way because I come 90% correct with mines. CAUN wants for nothing, I take very good care of him and always will. I enjoy my position and make sure that I stay on top of it. I free his mind and his spirit up to be about the business of moving us to the next level and he don't come home to ANY nonsense. I just need (as well as he) the freedom to operate. Joining with someone who also was looking for that is a blessing!

I also like the fact that our relationship is so intimate. We both make it our top priority and I don't think this is a passing fancy. I'm sure for others, when you been out there and you know the choices and the issues - if you finally get 'it', you take that much more seriously. I cry...more often than I care to admit during our lovemaking sessions because I'm just so gotdamn happy and satisfied.

Living alot of my private thoughts in a fantasy world - having connected with my King and being given the Princess crown and treatment I have wanted in my life has been a blessing, I can never get humble enough in my opinion about.

So how does it feel - it feels like the feeling I get when he tucks me into bed in the evening after having brought water for my bedside table, it feels like when he rubs my feet while we watch tv, it feels like when he's just as attentive to my daughter setting a VERY high bar as her first go round with how a man is suppose to be, it feels like how if I cook, he cleans and vice versa, it feels like all the laughter we have on a daily basis, it feels like my ringtone that says "Mrs. Magnegro your loving husband is calling", it feels like how he lotions me up, it feels like how he squeals like a kid because he just wants to sit around and cup my breast (lol), it feels like the warm rag he has by his bedside, it feels like his boy crying at our wedding cause he felt it too, it feels like arts and crafts and glitter and rose petals, IT FEELS!!!!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I walked down the hall towards my cubicle and began stepping on rose pedals! As I turned into my cubicle, his scent was everywhere as I looked at the decorated cubicle! Happy Valentines Day banners, A trophy for being the 'worlds best wife', a bear, rose pedals everywhere and he did ARTS and CRAFTS with a wonderful card and my name spelled in hearts and glitter!!! I also got "The Pursuit of Happiness", by Chris Garner. Apparently he had come up to the office and they let him in after I had left yesterday! GOD I LOVE THIS MAN!!

Last evening he gave me a really nice heart and diamond costume necklace from Ashley Stewart and when we got in the truck this morning - the back seat had things for Mini-me.

Tonite - dinner at Ushers Restaurant and SOME GOOD LOVIN!

LAST YEARS VALENTINE POST

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! In all honesty, I don't think my whole Valentine Series went over that well. Maybe if I were 'one of' instead of having stepped to the 'other side'. Oh well - I'm not going to curb my excitement and the love I have for my man, I been on both sides and I have respect for both sides and the people on both sides.

As a matter of fact - because I keep it real, here's some things you can cut and paste if you like.

Odd Relationships

ATLNEWBIAN sparked an additional thread, lol thanks! Before I begin, however, I wanted to just say what you already know - these, unless otherwise indicated are my opinions and they may or may not be skewed when bumped up against yours :) I really don't have any concrete answers - just experience like everyone else. So, if this series turns you off or anything - sorry.

So anyhoo - I want to talk about some of the 'odder' dating situations I have found myself in.

The Phone Relationship

Due to the internet, we now have the ability to meet folks that don't live in our immediate area. These relationships can be harmless enough and alot of people don't even count them as valid, but they can be. I remember (and you can get ready to laugh) I 'dated' a Brother for almost a YEAR and never once laid eyes on him in person! Yep! And we both considered ourselves to be dating. I met him while I was 'teaching' at PCDI. He called to see about one of his Juvie's (he was a cop). We struck up this conversation because he had the sexist voice ALIVE! Lawd have mercy! He started calling and asking to speak to me and eventually, I broke protocol and gave him my home phone number. We took it from there. I'll say up front, it takes a interesting personality and a bit of a deviant to maintain this kinda thing, lol Ultimately you do have a social deficiency of some sort, lol We would 'date' by say going to applebee's and then calling each other and actually dating. We did alot of things together like that. We had an intimate relationship as well - I think we invented the 'phone bone' LOL LOL LOL He was a musician and would go on gigs and set his cell phone up and I would listen to him play, lol lol There were cards and little gifts and all kinds of things. Eventually, I met someone in person and my attention started to be distracted from phone time and we broke up. I remember it was very emotional. I think that I was able to do that because (1) I was at a period in my life where I didn't want the face to face interaction but wanted the communication with a man and (2) I had withdrawn into my own world and this didn't impose on that.

The Long Distance Relationship

As you all know, Mobetta and I were a long distance couple. We met on the net and it spiraled from there. This relationship can be expensive especially if you live longer than a short car ride away. In all honesty, I would never start a relationship that was long distance. If we were together and it became long distance okay. What I learned about the long distance thing is that I personally am a vulnerable person and whereas I thought that I didn't need in person one on one attention - I did. Nobody wanted to move or give up their lives - which ultimately means - you dont' want to be together. The phone relationship was actually easier because you hadn't tasted the fruit only to then be denied. Long Distance is one long honeymoon. It begins and ends with the persons arrival and departure. However, what I have learned is that the relationship is the stuff that's in between that. I used to pride myself on being able to withstand all kinds of uniqueness in a relationship. Well once I stopped defining myself by others - I discovered that, I needed touch, smiles, interaction even if it were during a fight. In Long distance, sometimes you table all of that because it's about TIME and TIME is precious.

The Internet Relationship

I've never been involved in a total internet relationship, in terms of calling myself 'dating' someone who I only speak to on the internet. Well I've been in an abridged version of this with Mobetta, but that's about all. This relationship is kinda deep because it involves a whole heap of your time and the capacity to be quick witted as hell with your writing skills. I think I would get bored with this type of thing.

Take Notes Ladies!

Courtesy of Jay Clayton - real interesting site check it out!

12 Steps To Successful Dating In 2007
#1 Realize That You Do Not Understand Men
Unless you are a regular visitor to this site, trust me you do not understand what a man wants! Men are very simple creatures. All a man needs is food, football, a little loving, and quiet time! I have seen women spend loads of money on books, lingerie, videos, and seminars on how to please men. I laugh because it is so simple. All you need to do to keep a man is make sure his belly is full, provide a peaceful place to watch the game, and satisfy him sexually.


#2 Don’t Buy Into The Myths
In 2007 don’t believe the hype that supports negative stereotypes against black men. Some of the more popular negative stereotypes are:



Black Men On The “D.L.”


Every black man that you meet is not “suspect”. According to the United States Census Bureau 10% of the population is reported as being gay. There have been no spikes in the gay population. Closet homosexuality is no more of a problem today then it was 50 years ago. Just because you are a single woman does not mean that every black man is gay.


Black Men Want To Marry White Women


According to the United Census Bureau 93% of black men marry black women. This is the highest incidence of same ethnic marriage for any group in the world.



There Is An Epidemic Of Black Men Going To Brazil For Sex


99% of black men can’t even point Brazil out on a map. Less than 1% of black men have ever been to Brazil. So there is no epidemic of black men going to Brazil to find women.


#3 Improve Yourself To Improve Your Dating Prospects

I come across women all the time that are shocked that they can’t keep hold on to the type of man that they desire. Some women expect to attract a man even though they have nothing to offer that man in return. Most women desire a man that is decent and has accomplished something in life. Just remember that a man is looking for a woman that can compliment him. Men marry women who compliment them, and who they view as being on their same level. So the next time that you say you need an educated, physically fit, accomplished man, make sure that you are the same. Take a long hard and honest look in the mirror to judge if you are up to par.


#4 Be Yourself At All Times
Men do not want to have relationships with women who try to be what they think a man wants. Whether right or wrong, a man has already made up his mind how he is going to treat you after your first conversation. If a man is truly serious about getting to know you he is going to accept you and all of your imperfections. Most men do not expect women to be perfect. Nobody is perfect.


#5 Depend On Yourself For Happiness
A mistake I've seen women make, is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. Sure there are situations and relationships where this happens, but those are the exceptions not the rule. Nothing says, "Run!" to a brother faster than hearing or even sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her. The men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the healthiest, loving, nurturing guys out there either.


#6 Step Down Off The Pedestal

Not to be rude or harsh, but guys do not like women who are full of themselves. I hear women all the time whom wonder why they have a masters degree, a good job, house, and yet no man. These things are not the source of a man’s primary attraction! Having a degree and a good job makes a woman responsible in a man’s eyes, not necessarily a good catch! Ladies you can have more degrees than a thermometer, but if you don’t know how to cook or please a man you will have a hard time keeping one.



#7 Date Who Makes You Happy
Too often I see women relying on their female friends to define what type of men they should be dating. If you meet a “decent” man that makes you happy, do you really need your friend’s approval? If your girlfriends are really on your side it does not matter how much money a man has, what he looks like, or what restaurant he dines at. All that should matter to your friends is the man’s character and how he treats you. In 2007 focus on making yourself happy, and don’t worry about your friend’s approval.


#8 Take It Slow
Women often make a big error in judgment when they find a man that they are attracted to. They simply tell the man how much they like him too soon! Big mistake! Ladies you have to think about this from a man’s point a view. A man that you consider to be attractive has dated several women. This type of man knows from considerable experience what to expect out of women, and he is very accustomed to women trying to “lock him down” If a woman says to a man "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. Big Problem! This signals to the man that you're just like one of those "clingy" stereotypical women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control themselves from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives. This does NOT spell ATTRACTION to men.


#9 Either He Is Into You or “NOT”

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like... but he is just not that interested or isn't as serious? Right! They try to "convince" the man to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION. You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning”. If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, you will never be able to win his heart no matter what you do?




#10 Pay Attention To Men’s Signals

Some women get caught in the trap of needing a man to express his feeling towards them, the way they would expect a woman to demonstrate. If a man is really interested and serious he may never tell you, yet he will defiantly show you! If he washes your car, lets you hang around his friends, or miss football games to spend time with you, then these are the ways that a man will show his feelings. Do not expect all men to verbalize their feelings. You have to judge a man by his actions and how he treats you.




#11 Respect A Man’s Money As You Would Your Own
This is not 1947, in 2007 both men and women work. Actually on average black women earn more than black men. Dating can be very expensive.



Dinner at the Olive Garden for two: $45


Movie with popcorn and soda for two: $30



A very modest date can easily cost $75. How many women are willing to spend $75 upfront to get to know a man on a 1st date? Right!



Men adore women that respect their money. Think about it.


#12 In 2007 It Takes Two
Do not miss out on a great guy by playing too hard to get. Serious minded men enjoy a woman who can suggest a place for a date, or pick up the phone to even arrange a meeting. I admit, that men do enjoy the “thrill of the chase” but typically with a woman that has show some signs of interest. Playing hard to get works in the movies and on television but in real life with guys that have dating options. Show signals of mutual attraction and interest by inviting the guy out on a 2nd or 3rd date.

Ask Some of Pam's Male Companions

Have you grown tired of the advice your male friends give you? Would you like a wider audience? Well here is your time, because I'm sharing some of the Brothers I know...WITH YOU!

If you have a LOVE and LIFE QUESTION that you would like some conversation on - either post it in the comments or hit me up and I will post the questions and answers on Friday, February 16th.

Three of the Men I know will be giving up what they know: CAUN, MOBETTA and as yet an unidentified friend (got a few IM's out, lol).

So what you wanna ask? They got a wealth of "You Can't Handle the Truth" knowledge they are ready to depart!

Valentine Series Part 2

So tomorrow is the so-called big day. The fun now begins - the drug stores will be full of flustered men and if you from the hood, as we speak there is a instant store on every corner - selling all kinds of last minute stuff, so nobody will get kicked to the curb tomorrow.

So exactly what do you get a person say you just met two weeks ago? Or a person that you have been kicking it with, but it's not officially a relationship? I'm no expert, but I do like Valentines Day - so let me see what I can come up with.

First, however, a word to the Ladies - if you like Valentines Day, don't front like you don't!! Men DO NOT READ MINDS! As well as, Men don't react the same way as we do, so don't get pissed if he just says Thanks Baby!

For the 'new' friend:

Women - I would suggest keep it light and airy. If you know they like a certain beer/wine/liquor - get a bottle with a funny card! A batch of cookies made by you is also nice. A funny e-card works especially if you met them online. Leave the following words OUT: Love, Commitment, Forever, End of Time you get my drift

Men - Something that shows you consider them 'special' usually if you get them something they can put on their desk at work like a small plant, a funny card etc. A lunch date is also nice. You would be surprise how many women want folks at their job to know they are active in the dating scene.

For A Booty Piece

Men and Women: NOTHING - that's how folks get confused! Leave it like it is! They probably won't be with you anyhoo on this day.

For your three months person

Women: This is tricky, cause by now you are considering them your man - but that might not be true from his counterpart. I would suggest treat it like his birthday. If you all are sexing, this would be a perfect time to roll out some trick you have held back on cause you don't want him to think you a ho, lol. This also is a good time - to move the 'relationship' to your home - so get out the pots and pans. If he freaks out, then you know his intentions.

Men: Ok, whether you are on board or not, if she's been dating you about three months - you her man, lol So this means you need to decide if you are or aren't. Because if you are, then this is the perfect time for her reality to catch up with her fantasy. So get something in the $25-$50 range and do dinner or what not. If you AREN'T, then go generic all the way and step to the side by the way, because obviously you didn't make your intentions on the nature of ya'll dealings made and you got this woman strung along for nothing!

Ok, So I won't go into if you been together a long time etc. cause you know what to do and you know the consequences if you don't, lol

A few more Tidbits:

• Some of us don't like roses
  
• Accept a person for who they are - if they are not romantic like you but provide something away, be gracious
  
• Stop going out and spending all this money for this freaking pagen holiday
  
• Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner are surefire hits!
  
• Do NOT go up to your new man's job on the surprise tip - they don't really like that
  
• Do NOT get back with your Ex just because you lonely - they still the same person
  
• Make it fun. Mailing a whole box indivually of grade school cards is way cool
  
• Anything having to do with sex is the PERFECT Valentine Gift for a man
  
• If others are blessed to get Valentine Stuff - DON'T BE HATIN!
  
• A perfect solo Valentine Day is 'The Best Man' Popcorn and a bottle of wine
  
• Yea it's obvious he got it right before he came over, but he got it!