Friday Fandango

Who took my check?! I want to file a police report because apparently I haven't been getting paid!!!!!! Ok Ok I did it and I'm busted - we living off of love ya'll, we living off of love!

Today I have to turn in my Angels Gift. Every Year I 'adopt' me two boys from the Salvation Army and donate the toys etc. for them. I also have made it my signature to pick out the children with the most ethnic names - hell they already got two strikes against them so this year: Quontavious and Jarquavious Were Mini-me's 'brothers'. Tsk Tsk Tsk

I stood outside this morning and something is gonna happen weather wise. I can feel it in my bones and as folks are digging out from under tons of snow and places like Texas are getting ice - Le me go on to the grocery sto - cause WE KNOW how folks act in this crazy town!

December 1st begins Ramadan. The NOI observes Ramadan during the month of December (at least the original followers of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad do) So beginning today I'll be abstaining from eating any land meat (that means NO Chicken, Lamb, Turkey, Beef and anything flavored with it which means NO chicken noodle soup, ricearoni, etc.) and NO drinking, cursing and other heathen behavior. Because of the Diabetes I won't be fasting and because of the Quasi-Muslim status I am currently embracing - I might go to a holiday party or two, lol The purpose of us observing is to get a clear head and a clear path to God as those around us participate in the holidays.

Today is WORLD AIDS DAY - you can click the link or read about it on most blogs. GET TESTED, STRAP IT UP, CLOSE YOUR LEGS/PUT THAT THING AWAY and start caring about yourself and others. There's no reason in 2006 - we should be ending up on Maury cause we are on man number TEN and don't know the father! Which means one women slept with over 10 men in a three day period and 10+ men slept with the same woman. When you went up in that piece did you not feel the residue from the last negro! DAYUM! What in the world is going on!!!!!!?!!!!

Nothing spectacular going on this weekend. Time to do some maintenance on the IPOD and add some stuff and work on some busy projects for the wedding.



This is the best MEME I've done in awhile! I loved this!

Instructions
Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
Put it on shuffle
Press play
For every question, type the song that's playing
When you go to a new question, press the next button
Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...


Opening Credits: Get Down, Craig Mack
Waking Up: Close To You (Carpenters)
First Day At School: 12 Play (R Kelly)
Falling In Love: You (Raheem DeVaughn)
Fight Song: I Thought It Was Me (Bell Biv Devoe)
Breaking Up: Right Now (Al B Sure)
Prom: Rock With You Live (Michael Jackson)
Life is good: Got To Be There (Michael Jackson)
Mental Breakdown: My Lovin (Envogue)
Driving: Run It (Chris Brown)
Flashback: Glow of Love Live (Luther VanDross)
Getting Back Together: Get On The Floor (Michael Jackson)
Wedding: Lately (Stevie Wonder)
Birth of Child: April Love (LTD)
Final Battle: I'm A Slave For You (Brittney Spears)
Funeral Song: Ben Live (Michael Jackson)
End Credits: This I Promise (Temptations)





Ok, Fannie Mae needs an intervention WTF?!



Apparently THEY were her stylist!



Ya'll have a GOOD SAFE WARM weekend!

The Best Of.....

I was reading Emancipation and was whew I was ON ONE. So I thought that today (since I'm a bit bereft of words right now) is post a couple of my goodies. Whew Pam - is all I got to say.

Originally posted Tuesday, November 29,2005

Hmmm, as I was pondering the fact I had Eighty Seven Cents in Checking and Twenty-Three Cents in Savings - I got upset. Not because once again my money is screwed, but because I've been duped. I wanna know right this phucking second - exactly


WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT BEING AN ADULT!



If I had of known the shit that I know now, I would have turned right the hell around and went right back inside the birth canal.

I've toiled it around in my head - all the years you spend itching to be 'grown' to do what you damn please etc. etc. etc. I must be at that point of adulthood, that pivitol point where lightening flashes, the sea parts and there stands....YO MOMMA! who by the way is laughing hysterically.

Every morning I get up and expect to be called to breakfast, to have it already cooked, my ironing already done - not have some kid swinging from my fallopian tubes begging for shit 24/7. I just grab my books and hop my ass to school, or it's the weekend and I can just sleep till 2 in the afternoon, get up cut on some Mike J. and watch TV and read all at the same time.

The only mail I get be my Right On and Black Beat Magazine and the only phone calls I get are from FRIENDS!

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - I gotta be an adult. I'm damn near 40 and I don't want to be - what the hell is that about?! I can't even fake like I'm young anymore; all the phuck up's I got going on I gotta take full responsiblity for.

All this pressure! Fix this, buy that, cook this, iron that, pay this, work these many hours, suck this - GET OFF MY BACK!!

Adulthood is not liberating, it's an electrical fence around HELL!!!!!!!

So what I can drink, drive (sometimes at the same time), Screw and Screw up my credit, have a place of my own to live by my damn self. I'm still not seeing the PLUSES!!

As of right this second I'd rather be sitting getting fussed at about not finishing my homework than the shit I got to deal with on the daily.

I now envy Mini-Me and want to go in there and drop kick her as she listens to her MP3 player without nary a care in her 12 year old world, lol.



This rant was brought to you by an

overworked,
overemotional
underpaid
undersexed


ADULT!!!!!

Originally posted Friday, November 25, 2005

'Eat leftover Thanksgiving every 4-6 hours and call me on Monday - when you lethargic and backed up from all that starch' - Talk about following these orders, lol. I'm definitely already on my last leftover leg. It's different when there are family and friends around you so there is eating and activity, but the pure definition of sloth is Thanksgiving Leftovers, lol.

After wha.....10 hours of television and that much food, I am totally on brain fry. Now I'm thinking that the rest of the blog world is also on a fast slope to food overdose, but lo and behold some folks got were eating stuffing laced with ginkgo babola, lol. After reading The Phat Lady Sings followed immediately by ManNmotion - I was like Awwww Helll - they don got the old wires back sparking and God did I need it!

I feel like I want to add the third part of this what 'seems' to be chapters of a thought process - I'll title mines.....

Personal Hypocrisy

You know what that is, the action of 'saying' 'writing' 'debating' and 'expounding' on principals that sound real good, but that you may not actually follow. Man touched upon this -

As women (and as men, but I try not to speak for men - there are enough that will break it down for you,lol) we have a longgg list of things we won't put up with and a short concise list of things we welcome with a smile and open arms when it comes to relationships. Especially for the under 30 set (they scare me sometimes,lol).

Once you hit 30, the list starts to switch a bit and you begin the first phase of reevaluating all of your 'fantasy' and you add a bit of the no's to the yes pile. Now once you hit 35, you really start to look around and realize that the reality is a whole different ballgame than your best fantasy - so the list moves again and you keep some golden ones on your no list; because afterall, you do have to have standards.

At 40 the joke list includes: BREATHING, UPRIGHT, ERECTION AT LEAST TWICE A MONTH, lol. However, in your private moments, that shit is a bit accurate than we like to admit, lol.

Now emotionally - some things start to change as well. Depending on what road you have traveled, at various times you begin to examine your ever changing emotional needs. In your 20's it's all about remind me how fine I am, present me with gifts on a regular basis and blow my back out in admiration of me, lol. The 30's are about validate me as a mate, make sure the world knows that you have picked me as a wife/mother and read up on how to start connecting with me emotionally. Though I'm only 39, I am studying and feeling what I believe the 40's are going to be about and funny but it seems it's all about filling voids; feed my mind, my soul, my body things that you neglect sometimes throughout your life.

So what does all this have to do with Personal hypocrisy? Well alot of us consistently say 'we know what we want?' but if you ask a brotha - he will say without skipping a beat 'we don't know what the hell we want'. I have been guilty of this, I will sit up and sing from the rafters about how wonderful the blackman is and go on and on about they all this and that - but I have not talked to many a brother (who might have been good for me) based on stuff like: He's to heavy, he got to many kids, he got to many bills, he talk to Southern, etc. etc. etc.

The difficult part is how to hold on to your 'personal preferences and beliefs' but not use them to keep you from experiencing life and love. To exclude a person for say 'they didn't buy me a big enough ring' or 'we can't go to the Bahamas' sounds cold, but it sounds even colder coming out the mouth of a person, who a minute ago says they want someone 'to be there for them and their kids' - and you know for a fact that he's set them up in a nice house, he goes to all Jrs' games etc. but she kicking him to the curb about 'that personal hypocrisy'.

All of us run into it at some point and time in our lives, when we come face to face with what we have been running around telling everyone and usually it's not in the package with all the bells and whistles that we want it in. We see it in other people and it usually starts a conversation that begins "how did she end up with HIM?" You know we have pages and pages of that conversation on just about every black site about....Janet and Jermaine Dupree as a prime example. Are these so-called 'odd couples' actually the ones in the winners circle? Are they the ones who have hit that level of understanding about their needs, wants and desires and they have become more important than their 'preferences'.

Now I'm not saying that if you prefer a sense of humor and it comes in the package of a crack addict, you should go for that (lol), but at some point as we trapeze around with the self appointed 'got it going on crew' be it a woman or a man, we are going to have to look at what is EMPTY inside of us and start to rate folks on if they fulfill that.

I HATE being a hypocrite, so I'm really going to work on that. Now I'mma tell ya'll up front the short man situation is not going to work itself out (sorry), but when I run into the brotha that is willing to 'feel' for me and 'connect' with me and 'bond' with me, make time for me and need/want me when he not only is feeling bad but when he's feeling good and I start hearing 70's soul music for no apparent reason - then I'm not going to be a hypocrite.......

Wednesday Wayback

Hey People! I have always been an avid reader. I started really young and up until recently it was a major focus of my life. The Library and I were best friends. I hold the distinction of reading every young adult book in the library and there used to be a small certificate on the wall of the MLK Library telling that story.

I would check out upwards of 6-10 books at a time and read them all and still have time for school, housework and plenty of play. I had this raggedy old bike with a huge basket on the back and we would pile all our books in that basket to ride down to the library twice a week sometimes to just hang out.

I remember in the summer- we would ride down to the library to go to movie afternoon. The librarian would lock us in that dark room while we watched "Return to Space Mountain" or "Tom Sawyer" and we acted a plum fool in that room, lol. Our favorite game. We would all get on the floor in a row and roll all the way across the room - all on top of each other etc. because we couldn't see. Early humping - in hindsight, lol

One of my favorite authors was Judy Blume - say it with me ladies "We Must We Must Increase Our Bust" 'Are You There God, it's me Margaret' was passed around till it was dogearred. That used to be THE BOOK. All of Judy Blume's books were so cutting edge and by the time you got around to reading "Forever" it turned into soft porn, lol lol REVOLUTIONARY.

So today I want to take us back to childhood books and literary works by Judy Blume.

Let me know who you read coming up

JUDY BLUME

Blume's novels for middle schoolers were among the first to tackle such controversial matters as racism (Iggie's House), menstruation (Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret), divorce (It's Not the End of the World), masturbation (Deenie) and teenage sexuality (Forever). Fans of Blume's novels have praised her use of real-life settings, ambivalent endings and gentle humor. Her allegedly ambiguous treatment of moral issues made her at one time a regular target of school library censors and the religious right. Her books are still often challenged in school libraries; in fact, Forever was the second most often challenged book of 2005, according to the American Library Association. She is recognized as one of the most banned children's authors in the United States.

The Wedding Planner

53 DAYS UNTIL I AM MRS. CAUN!


I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I have been having small little breakdowns because 53 days is cool but WE HAVE ONLY FOUR CHECKS TILL WE GET MARRIED and that's cause for high blood pressure, lol

I went through this period where this was all I talked about, but I caught little hints that folks were tired of talking about my love and my wedding - so I've shut most of that down. This is the greatest party I've ever planned and let me tell you it takes up ALOT of my time. I sometimes am happy, sometimes so worried I'm crying on CAUNS shoulder and then sometimes - I just have to focus on something else, but it's coming together and I truly think in my heart it's going to be beautiful.

I NEVER really get excited about clothes, so I've tried on dresses and things were okay, but when I tried on the two dresses I'm torn between and looked in the mirror - I looked like the most beautifulest girl in the world, lol. I mean all dewey and sexy and special - so now I need to make a decision and QUICK because they have to order the dress and what the hell is the cruel joke that I apparently wear a damn 7X!!!!!!!! (just joking but what's with the sizing of wedding dresses). The whole wedding gown thing is interesting for me. White is NEVER a friendly color - but some wedding white looks just right, lol

Also seeing as it appears that the only weight I'm going to lose is if it involves a colonic before the wedding - I now must go on the search for the type of foundation that will leave me with only 10% breathing capacity. THEN there's I won't be walking around in my wedding dress for four days and I am bamming my head on the table as I even think about getting my sexy on with some lingerie. I wonder if I sew rhinestones on my current bed sweats will her think I'm sexy?
At least it's relatively easy to get Mini-me and Baby Chocolate Pound Cake Ready.

Now couple my angst with the fact that I am marrying a Fashion Plate and you get the picture. Last I heard it was a Velvet Jacket. He doesn't want to wear a Tux - which is fine.

Then I thought about honeymoon. Initially we said a 7 day cruise, but this will be CAUNS first one and he is an active man and if all he could do was on that boat - he'd go nuts, so then I started looking at Sandles, but we really don't need a $4k honeymoon - So there is a 4 day cruise to Cozumel that leaves Miami, with an additional stop in Key West - we are thinking of arriving the day before and kick it in Miami and then take the 4 day cruise - that should be alot of fun! I promised CAUN I wouldn't change my mind, but you never know ...Sales for something even grander might be right around the corner.

I'm having my first shower on December 18th (what a blog that will be). I'm getting real excited about that - Ya'll know me and attention, lol This will be the job shower - My list is huge, lol I've been here 8 years and been to my fair share of showers both bridal and wedding and have coordinated even more and cooked for even more than that. It will be nice to sit back - even though I've promised all events will include my Curry Chicken Salad - I'll never get a break from that. "Janet" will be giving me one more and a bachelorette party - OH YEAAAAAAA!

I think it's the little things that are running me beserk. I have all these ideas and can't do them all and it's fustrating. My gift bags for my guest went from totes to probably chinese take out box size, lol I'm making custom IOU's for my wedding party. The things I do have, however, are from the heart and they have pamela written all over them ( and prominent traces of CAUN) and I think they will be well received.

Doing destination to somewhere I have never been presents it's challenges as well. It's not as if a hotel is doing all of your planning - you have to do everything but the ceremony. I'm glad that I am capable of doing research and asking questions. I have to figure out where we will eat. How to entertain people who might not stay at the same hotel we are staying at and make sure I see and interact with everyone. I WILL be bringing my no doze. CAUN is confident that everyone will be just fine - after all it's VEGAS and after the wedding and reception dinner - most folks will be dumping us to enjoy it to begin with Um, I hope not dayum!

So there you have it. I have two books the main wedding book and then the portable wedding book. EBAY has been a LIFE SAVER! I still have flowers to think about, and a thousand other knick knacks but I have my trusty lists and I have my sweetie and my daughter and my bridesmaids and everything will come out just fine!

As much as I love to share - no wedding prep pictures at this time. I think I'll post some stuff right before the wedding and where as I at first thought to post the website for the webcast - I think I will ask that you email me instead. I don't want some creep or someone who just wants to be nosy and negative participating in my special day.

I already checked and the hotel has internet - so I'll be bringing the lap top and checking in.


I guess now is a good time to let ya'll know that as of January 1st CAUN and I will be abstaining until after we become man and wife.............


**HOLLYLICIOUS BREAKING NEWS**

American Gangstas premieres on BET tonite (Tuesday, Nov 28th) at 10pm


First six episodes of HEROES will be shown on Sci-Fi Channel (check your local listing a cable channel) Wednesday, Nov 29th beginning at 6pm

Monday Musing

I have had to have my baby tap into his Cali roots over this shyt! Break Yo Self Fool! Can you believe I am just getting to my blog post?! I have been hemmed up like a midgets ball gown all freaking day! I should have known coming off the holiday - I was going to be picking extra bags of cotton, but DAYUM! So I've effectively abandoned my family to write my blog and then go to school. So bear with a sista - cause I had some things to muse about!!!!

BUT

I interrupt my own mindspace to bring you that of another. ATLNEWBIAN is a friend of mines that I met off of Emancipation. She was a building block in CAUN and my relationship because she watched Mini-me and we have kept in touch even though she moved to North Carolina. She's a young vibrant sista with a miniature star in the body of her daugther living with her. Life is wide open for her and I hope that she decides to grab what of it is hers. She came to our home and broke bread with us and was privvy to all of our going ons. She said she just had to guest write and let you all know what it was like. So I will cram all my shyt back into my mind and allow her this time. It's always a pleasure to have someone guest and adds texture -so sit back and enjoy ATLNEWBIAN.



Now... I met Pam through a blog she had on blogspot, if memory serves me right... I used to sit for her, her daughter is now 13... (To go off on a tangent... yall black people know you need to still have someone at home checking in with your child up until maybe 14.... and if you don't, don't be surprised if you wind up with a sexually active, sneaky ass child. lol It's called letting a child be a child... with boundaries. Take note.)

She is a good friend I've kept in contact with since my move from GA... She's engaged to a wonderful man... and getting married in January... I like to think I played a part in that union because I watched her daughter from date #1.... and listened to the stories... and endured her acting like a 13 yr old with the giggles.. lol but I digress).

Soooo... I settled in, and sat back... and watched. Man listen... these people are nuts! lol It was like an impromptu skit ever 7 minutes. I got some of everything... musical performances.. dance breakdowns... 40 yr olds walking it out... and doing the chicken noodle soup. lolol But!!!! it was great. I have honestly never seen a couple mesh in such a way.... that they are like the old grandparents that everyone loves... because they understand each other... and just know how to enjoy the other person's presence... without it being needy, or dependent... but complementary. "THEIR" daughter was all embarassed... the entire time mind you.. but I wonder if she realizes that the world is ugly... and there people out there who do not care... who reproduce... and could care less what kind of loving environment they provide. So to meet a woman... who made it her mission to provide that... and not settle... wind up with a mate perfect for her situation... and heart... and family... is mind boggling. But yo, they are still crazy. I'm trying to upload my lil video I made on my phone of them "performing." lol

So anyway... I ate, drank, and was merry... and embraced...Annnnnd enjoyed Thanksgiving... without having to do any cooking... priceless! There was turkey, cornbread stuffing, mac and cheese (4 cheeses son!), greens... you should know how I feel about greens.. O BABY... a sweet potato souffle, gravy, and a broccoli rice casserole. Next time, I'ma need for the woman to bake a pie though... then I will love her more than my own momma. lol.

For the first time since I was 7, I think I'm now ready to take on the holidays again, and make it my mission to give my daughter that love, and peace... because it's needed.. for her to grow into the person I want her to be... better than me, and more capable of loving without restraint.

Friday Fandango

So once again - I lay in bed MAD because I have no money to join the Black Friday folks. I miss this and I miss the giant sales at two churches. I just never budget my money right.

I only ate one plate like night but as Mini-me pointed out we were eating mount foodeus to begin with so one plate was enough.

I don't think I told ya'll that ATLNEWBIAN (a sista I met and befriended on line) spent Thanksgiving with us and unfortunately we've scarred her for life with our antics. I can't wait to see her blog. I think for Monday Musings - I'm going to have her guest blog and tell ya'll just what it was like.

Today we carried forward family time and gather up my step daughters and went bowling. What fun! Extreme bowling is always fun. I did 50 and 71 respectively with nails so it's all good,lol. We then came home and ate again and that was cool. Now I'm sitting here in a semi-diabetic state. I want to go lay down - but its' sooo early.

As this is Friday Fangdango, I wanted to do a...

Hollyicious Moment

• I have watched Oprah with Will Smith three times. In Pursuit of Happiness is the movie I MUST see. Did anyone else see Oprah? Chris Gardner left me speechless. Especially when you hear about his childhood - that trumps the entire homeless experience. By the way, Chris Gardner is QUITE attractive, lol



• We sat and watched The Wedding starring Halle Berry on Oxygen this morning. That gal knows she's one dimensional. I just can't see any depth in her. I like the costuming and homes in that movie. I really want by the time I'm 50 to have acquired me a 'summer' home. We will have to look into that.



• 106 and Jay! Ok that was kinda hot. You know though it always takes me back to when some of my folks were famous like that and could shut it down. I still don't see all stations shutting down like they used to do for Mike.



• I'm afraid that I am kinda sorta interested in checking out Ciara's new product when it comes out. I am intrigued by that song Promise

With that being said. I'm going and lay on the couch and chill and I'm going to leave you with THIS.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

If I explode - I will my blog to CAUN, lol Even the tips of my fingers are swollen with food - so let me just post some pictures.

I hope that EVERYONE had a fabulous Thanksgiving and are working on their second helping.





Can We Eat?


MINI-ME Cooking!




It's A Family Affair



The Tablescape




The Vittles - Ice, Stringbeans, Mac&Cheese, Greens, Sweet Potato/Banana Souffle,Broccoli/Rice Casserole Gravy. Stuffin and Guest of Honor

It's Beginning to SMELL Alot Like Thanksgiving

I know don't keel over, lol I feel like having a moment on my blog and that's what I'm doing.

I'm sitting here watching Will Smith on Oprah and just grinning from ear to ear - he is doing us PROUD.

The smells of cornbread baking, ice tea with splenda and lemon brewing and salty water for mac and cheese boiling is waifing around my home. My child is relaxing in her room - my man is watching the game behind his eyelids. The blessing I am experiencing is almost overwelming - so I will just live it and not dwell on it.

We went to the mall and as usual I am overwelmed in there. I really should have positioned my life as a mall shopper. You know that is something that you have to start early. To budget and put aside money for mall shopping. People who shop there are 'seasoned'. I am a fish out of water. We looked at several things for the wedding and just kinda spent some one on one time after work. Mini-me chilled all day long...at home.

Ok - why did I almost didn't want to go to this EBAY AUCTION for fear I would accidently bid. The Rash that is OJ is spreading to my nether regions.

Ok - I am going to have to enter a 12-step program to rid myself of the addiction that is "Walk It Out" - that song just does it for me and is causing my child to sprout grey hairs, which makes it even better.

You ever wonder how you would be if everyone rejected you and you had noone to spend Thanksgiving with? If you had placed yourself in a position where people shunned you?

Have you ever wondered about people who never have sex? I mean adults who for whatever reason - just never are able to work out copulating with another human. Like a 50 year old virgin. What's that like? Do you become mentally imbalanced?

Ok Ok - I'm trippin, lol

Well I think I'll go and place my head on CAUN's heart and just...be...thankful.

See Ya'll Tomorrow!

My Hollyicious Moment

Happy Tuesday! With this being a holiday week, I wanted to keep this spot light and airy. Nothing heavy but the food! As I mentioned before, I need a new outlet to express all things entertainment. The most logical place is right here in my own space. However, the classification of this blog is "personal" so I don't want to lose it's integrity by making every day gimmicky, lol

However, starting next week Fandango Friday will have an added "My Hollyicious Moment" - I won't insult your intelligence by doing a whole bunch of copying and pasting of stuff we all read (besides who got time for all of that). This will just be me mouthing off about stuff going on in the entertainment business, be it radio, tv, literature, celebrity, etc. etc.

Let us start out first by identifying and paying respect to some of my sources, which I affectionally call my rag sheets!

CRUNK AND DISORDERLY
CONCRETE LOOP
A HOT MESS
VIBE CONFIDENTIAL
YOUNG BLACK FABULOUS
TMZ
PEREZ HILTON
CAKE AND ICECREAM
ROCKA CANDY
POP CANDY
BLACK VOICES
just to name a few - check them out!

• My Thoughts on Michael Richards: Well in all honesty the first thing that came to my mind was actually from one of his fellow comedians.."I don't like niggas either"(Chris Rock). I mean it always amazes folks when it comes up because we swear up and down that they no longer use it. Black comedians can yell nigga from the audience and pick on white folks all the time - so......now he did stink and obviously he isn't a good comedian because he let hecklers get to him....but he's a blip on the big screen of life. What was negroes going to see his
  comedy act for anyway, lol He's an actor - his funniness was written for him as part of a script. He just mad cause he is NOT funny and Cleutus nem pointed that out. I was way more concerned with the other folks who were laughing. I see alot of Thanksgiving convo across America where stories are being told and the word nigga being the highlight from all folks. It's one of those it ain't right but it's okay moments. I'm guilty of heckling white folks, lol



• I think that it is in poor taste to continue to run Jennifer Lopez over the coals Diddy and Kim. It's over - don't you love how folks in hindsight got all these complaints about someone. For whatever reason he was with her - he was with her and to try to sully her name as if she's left over fabric from your doggy collection just ain't cool. She's married now (something Kim cant' say) and going on with her life.



• I really need GIRLFRIENDS to start doing better! They have definately 'jumped the shark' by not negotiating with Toni a little more. I understand (believe you me) that she ain't all that special, but the show is drowing without her. I like Monica she's a hoot, but she ain't Toni. The other ladies are stagnate to say the least. Why was I thinking of Jill Scott and her feelings about William and Joan all last night. They recycling stories! I think it's time to start wrapping it up. Another one bites the dust



• I am a fan of Mariah Carey - I really am, but I am really starting to not feel the fact that she finds the necessity to dress like a skank at all times. Do they make those tight tube dresses just for her!? DAYUM! She wore one of those numbers to pick up an award from CHILDREN! Mariah - you know you were the catalyst for my blog journey - but I'mma have to find me someone with some clothes on to emulate.



• BET Hip Hop Awards - I've had to use two boxes to relieve myself of the itching. BET please STOP! Best Part of the whole show was Katt.



• All kinds of different stories about exactly what happen to Mike at the World Music Awards from he just couldn't do it to they shut his Mike off. Um, I'm not sure what happened and I guess we here in the states won't ever see it - but I miss him still. He'll be back



• I had just come aboard the Diddy Train when now Jay-Z is rollin in several layers of fine fabulousness! Queue "Torn"



• Not quite sure what happened to Michael Baisden - but I like Monique in the Afternoon. A female voice is much needed in that industry and I hope that she stays around - I was never a fan of Mike on the radio but I did like and do own all of his novels, lol



• America's Next Top Model - lawd these girls are now at the destination portion of the show and still complaining, whining and just not up to par. Cancel them all together. I heard that Tyra was going to do a 'healthy' version of the show - Ahh get ready for a size FIVE, lol



• What OJ Simpson can do to you if you get too close!



• Is it wrong for me a be a bit jealous that my wedding is not getting as much coverage as Tomkat? Ok, it's not getting any coverage, lol



• ABC is looking for your Hip Hop Family
  
  ABC TELEVISION SEEKS HIP HOP FAMILIES!!
  Casting Directors for ABC TV are conducting a national search for outgoing families (moms, dads and kids between the ages of 5 and 18) for Season 3 of Wife Swap.
  
  · Do you or all of your family members live a hip hop lifestyle?
  · Do you embody the hip hop style in everything from your music and wardrobe to your career choice?
  · Is freedom of expression important to you and your children?
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Monday Musings

Ok, I'm wore out and it's not even noon yet! Can't believe I'm just getting around to Monday Musings! What's up people! Hope that your weekend went well and that you were somewhere warm. I'm over here sniffing from running around in clothes that were inappropriate for the weather and look what happened. I'm just beggin to really get sick. I can admit, I was quite 'crabby' this weekend. I don't know - I think I was having a bout of PMS. I have to acknowledge that it has entered my life at 40. Can you believe it. I worked hard to push through it but I actually didn't get back on track till about 5pm on SUNDAY. Poor Caun! Luckily he was in a Football semi-coma, I am grateful that he took it with a grain of salt.

Groceries for three people - including Thanksgiving shopping! The stores were actually calm and civilized. Now this week starts the madness. I will go on Wednesday just cause I like the drama, lol. This is our first Thanksgiving together and I wanted to do it up. When we moved, I got rid of my holiday plates, so that meant I had to go out and get some more. I like these better. I bought a couple of things for my table centerpiece and I've 'gained' like 20 pounds watching the Food Network this weekend. I tell you! I didn't see ONE SHOW that focused on anything quote/unquote healthy, lol lol I copped one receipe from there to add to my table.


Ok - they trying to be funny. Look what I found....personal watermelons, lol lol Only $1.99 - I have never seen these before. I just fell out laughing in the store.
As well as the pyramid to a happy impending marriage - get the man what he wants! Fruit Cocktail for EVERYONE!!

My future Mother-in-Law blessed us with some really nice gifts - boy do I love coming home to packages! She made us some Quillows. Which are quilts that fold up into pillows. Quite nice. She also made mini-me a satin pillowcase with Hello Kitty and her name on it.

Well folks we are less than TEN WEEKS! until the nuptials Lawd Have Mercy. Right now I am totally focused on B-U-D-G-E-T. I am mapping it all out meticously so that I can maintain the household and pull together the rest of what we need. We both are going to be so happy after the wedding because we have seriously deprived ourselves of any shopping (though I have been sneaking in something here and there, lol) Otherwise - I am whittling down my to do list and getting ready for this trip in December. I was stressed but now I'm calm. The only thing I'm currently stressed about is finding me a hairdresser! It's time!

I also need to see how to incorporate my need for pop culture into my blog. I have to have an outlet for that and I'm on step 7 of a 12 step program to leave 'highschool' alone - so I need to become all inclusive in my own space, but I dont' want to lose my blogger integrity by never...blogging,lol So I got something in the works - stay tuned.

So a short week this week but plenty of blogging as I take you into my Thanksgiving -so get ready for pictures, lol lol that should be fun. Ya'll know I loves taking pictures, lol

Friday Fandango

Happy Friday Ya’ll! WOW is all I can say. Ask Anything Thursday was a HUGE SUCCESS! Thanks to everyone who replied. I am sitting here a bit misty eyed. I thought the questions would be more about me, but to discover a lot of them are asking my ‘opinion’ on life is quite humbling. I hope that as I answer these questions, I don’t disappoint you. Remember these are just my opinions and they might not be the ones you want to hear, but they are the ones I have, lol lol

Well in no particular order let me get started:

THE ANSWERS


Q: Forgive me for a possible repeat of a past post, but, how did you meet your future husband?
A: I met CAUN on….Blackplanet (ok folks don’t’ knock me down racing over there). Yep, I met him online. I have been dating, for all practical purposes exclusively online for about 5 years now. I don’t know how it ended up that way but it did. And yes I approached him. His words intrigued me and I left him a message THEN I just got tired of the whole thing and shut down my page, lol He actually kinda tracked me down and it’s been on and poppin since then :)


Q: As a young black single mother it's hard to get out and about to mingle like complete single folks so I was curious how you encountered CAUN.
A: I have never looked at meeting men over the internet as a negative. I have sat as a single mom with NO FAMILY here and not a lot of support system in terms of babysitters and treated it just like a social event. I meet and greet and question and flirt and let it play out. It’s not the last ditch effort folks keep making it out to be. Loonies exist EVERYWHERE. For more cerebral sistas like myself – it was a blessing in disguise – cause I know how to talk and extract stuff. I still recommend to all single sistas to TRY IT. At MINIMUM you will work on your communication skills, your bullshit radar and the projection of who you are.


Q: How did your daughter digest CAUN when they met and knew he wasn't going anywhere?
A: Because I never presented a fantasy to her nor did I overexpose her to men nor did I burden her with grown women issues – she has taken it in stride. What a lot of folks don’t realize is that in these relationships – a child desires that balance. Her entire life, she’s listened to…me. She is damn glad to have another perspective, another ally, and another thought process. She also is glad that my time must be split and I am not sitting around just looking at her. She’s also been quite receptive to the ‘older sister’ thing. Mini-me like I’ve said before name means Calm and Tranquil. She exemplifies this. The bumps we’ve had, she’s come to me and we’ve discussed them and I’ve spoken about change and how hard it is and that it is inevitable because we are not standing still. I don’t profess to think it will be smooth sailing all the way she IS 13, lol but so far so good. It was such a natural progression of our relationship and CAUN is such a gentle man that it’s going well. Now she mentions him as her Step father and she will run to him in a minute because she’s playing good cop/bad cop – think she slick, lol


Q: How do you know when a man is a keeper?
A: My current philosophy is that if the person you with meets 75% of the second level of your criteria and 25% of your first level (which is usually the one where you trippin) then they ‘might’ be a keeper, lol. We think that first list is the most important and we pile all the good stuff Tall, Fit, Religious, blah blah blah but that second subtle list – does he walk with you like he’ll beat a nigga down over you, how does he interact with the rest of the world, does he…share, does he penetrate whatever bullshit you got going and love you anyway…..


Q: You like pop culture right? What Black TV Couple do you and caun most identify with?
A: LOL this is hilarious. I personally have always said I was a hybrid of June Clever and Peggy Bundy. I think CAUN and I are most aligned with…Martin and Gina. That’s how our life goes, lol You wouldn’t believe how full of laughter my house is on a daily basis and it’s been consistent. We are NUTZ. And we thrive off of the hustle, the love and the just being content and happy.


Q: After being single for a while, how are you adjusting to your new life with the fiancé and daughter?
A: I’ve always lived my life as if I’ve had a mate, lol I hang out with married women, I run my household as a ‘wife’ and I have conducted myself as if I’m wife material – so now I just got the other statute on top of the cake, lol. I guess the biggest change has been the projecting outward instead of inward. I can’t hold stuff in or let it fester or over analyze it – CAUN pushes me to live in the present, deal with the past and not let folks rent space in my head – giving me no room to think. OH and I am BUSY! I still have plenty of time for me – but good Lawd they take up a lot of my time now, lol


Q: And while you were dating, did you change your outlook on life to attract your mate?
A: I never changed my outlook but I changed how I presented what I had to offer. I had to learn and unlearn years of training that everyone doesn’t deserve the best of me. I had to learn to step back and let the other person – QUALIFY for me.


Q:And how do you not let others rain on your parade?
A: To be honest, by adopting a more stank attitude. I have become quite protective of what I got going on and how I feel and what is making me happy. The fuck you and the beat down horse you rode in on – seems to be working for me. I am out of control, I know it, lol


Q: I would like to move further along in my relationship of almost 4 years( marriage, children etc.) However, I have issues with my partner's family- they do not respect me as a woman or a human being!! And we have some trust issues-for example: We are on the same cell phone plan, My partner hides their cell phone in the house and I never see the cell phone bill!!! When my partner goes out with friends, my partner does not come home until the next morning!!! My partner does not help out in the house- I cook and clean most of the time. Should I stay or go?
A: A partner is one who is equally invested in the relationship – this is someone you’ve been ‘dating’ for four years. Based on what you have said about the way he is treating aspects of the relationship – the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree. My question to you is “Have you developed a concussion yet from ramming your head into the brick wall that is impeding this relationship?” I know it gets comfortable and it looks bleek out here, but you’ve invested 1460 days of your life, life is progressive leading up to the finale…death. Can you live with the possibility that a lot of yours is being spent unhappy and stagnate.


Q: Who is your mom?
A: Oh Lawd. This is my mother.
There are so many people that contribute to the black Diaspora and their works are overshadowed by the ‘tone’ of the message. My mother is one of them. She’s contributed so much to the black book explosion and market. To this day you can’t get her book unless you go through an African American distributor. She has yet to sell directly to the ‘man’. Every little pamphlet that comes out and most black bookstores owe a smidgeon of debt to my mom. In terms to the Infamous book which put her on the map, All I have to say is that if what she said FIFTEEN YEARS AGO was so irrelevant and didn’t apply and was an attempt to slander black woman world wide – sure is funny we are (1) worst off than we were then (2) in more of a crisis (3) losing more and more control of our young people (4) and several of us are in desperate need of a five finger ring pop, lol lol lol lol lol GO FIGURE.


Q: You sure seem full of yourself - why should we care about you?
A: See that’s the thing – I am glad that I am ‘full’ of myself, because it’s emotionally, physically, spiritually damaging to be experiencing drought about yourself. The revelation that everyone should be ‘full’ of themselves is powerful because then it exposes those who want to crack yo game. A person doesn’t have to care about me, but in order for you to make progress in your own life, you should embrace the power of life and living and I think I am a part of that.


Q: Why don't some sistah's give head?
A: Alrightyyy then. Quiet as it’s kept; it seems as if we are under a lot of pressure to ‘perform’ acts that initially were not on our day to day menu. As we explored and attempted to redefine who we were sexually (as if we haven’t always been a sexual people) – we took on ideas that may or may not have been what was best for our Diaspora. Fellatio is a very submissive (for the woman) and trusting (for the man) for example: Never understood why a man would piss a woman off and then try to stick his prized tool down her throat – ooo don’t we have 32 teeth, lol. But anyhoo – if the question is in relation to some chick you dating – why are you trusting your penis in the mouth of anyone you don’t really know to begin with and if it’s in relation to your mate – COMMUNICATION. Have you told dirty stories about the hoes from college who gave head like it was on sale at the Walmart? Women listen to these things and you look hypocritical. You think they were hoes but I’m…not. A lot of black women have problems with sex and their sexuality. A lot of them stem from not having father figures to define those things for them and a warped visual of their own mother’s sexual life (like our kids don’t know). I don’t know what to tell you – but in your qualification process delve verbally into their past about sex and you might find out what your future with them will be like.


Q: Women are often telling guys who are in bad marriages, that they should get out. But in most cases, getting "OUT" means losing custody of your kids not to mention a good financial hit. Finances aside, I think most women are more inclined to end a bad marriage because they don't suffer the hard choices when it comes to their kids. What do you think?
A: let it be known that when a woman divorces her chances to slip into poverty rise SHARPLY. In my opinion, women take the harder hit in divorces. We can’t just…walk away. A lot of us become stagnate in moving on or finding another mate and we sometimes give up YEARS of our lives because we have children at home. So though there needs to be equality – I am a believer that some women take the ‘female’ moniker and abuse it. We think we have this privilege or right based on our gender. We have abused our position as women and a lot of us no longer even qualify for the title. I wish that a man could go to court and charge the woman with some of the foolish we put ya’ll through. However, the outcome of divorce or separation for women is much more damaging.


Q: When do we know it's time to let go??
A: Only the individual can know when it’s time to let go. Everyone has different thresholds for pain and discontent, some people, as sad as it is, can’t function unless there is dysfunction. When your spirit becomes a shell of what it was or your environment becomes toxic – it’s time to go, but then again – some people’s essence of greed or arrogance keeps them there until it just implodes upon itself. Why do folks want to live like that.


Again, I have really enjoyed this and I tell yah – I feel like I could be a columnist somewhere. I need to start me up a group somewhere and see how it goes. An advice column – hmmm interesting.

BABY I'M A STAR

ESSENCE MAGAZINE - 40 Fabulous 40 Year Old Sistas Series


Pamalicious is a 40 year old Atlien residing in Decatur. She's works in non-profit and is the owner of a popular spot in the blogsphere called "Pamalicious-theadventures". She's an busy mother and stays active with her friends and High School classmates. We caught up with her one Sunday as she was running errands in preparation to her upcoming nuptials the beginning of next year.

E: So you are a relatively new fabulous and 40 - how's that going for you?

P: Let me tell you, I am LOVING IT! This space I am in now is a stage and I just want to perform

E: How are you defining your woman now that you are 40?

P: I am still working on the total definition of Pamela. It's still a process. However, I feel the most sexy than I've ever felt in my life. This self awareness that you can develop & define your own sexiness and your own celebrity and YOU are the owner of your self-esteem. What a powerful feeling!

E: Mothering at 40 - what is that like?

P: (Laughs) Ahh I am the mother of a newly minted teenager (Her daughter turned 13 in October). Whew Lawd! Where I find myself is in an attack mode lately. I want to kick some major ass over my child. She's has one of the best spirits I know and that's adults included. I don't like that she has to try 'fit' into some of the situations young people today find themselves in. I don't like that she's lonely and that she is looked upon as 'square'. I've been there and no matter how much I tell her that in the long run - her maintaining her innocence and civility is going to make her a winner - it's not TODAY at 13 - so I ache for her. Stepmothering has been interesting, because coming from the polygomous space I was raised in, the lines are blurred about this - here's some more children come on down! LOL but that doesn't work out here. So I struggle with tempering who I would like to really be to not upset the very fragile apple cart that is those children's world. I am learning alot. First being - take all advice with a grain of salt, lol

E: You have had ALOT of changes in your life this year - how have you been handling that?

P: There has been so much positivity in my life this past year that I work HARD at understanding what it means and maintaining the aura which got me there in the first place. In my mindspace - this is not foreign, I have always been blessed. I have not led a particularily hard life and God has been merciful and beneficient and the bubble I grew up in was just enlarged, but I have never just been sat out here in the world - I have been promised since I came out that if I do A-B-C on any kinda level, I would be blessed with Money, Good Homes, Gifts and Friendships in all walks of life. I believed that and now some of it is coming to fuition. I need to stop apologizing that I haven't had this 'life' that unfortunately alot of sistas wear as badges of honor. I just haven't lived it and I sometimes feel that folks project what they got going on to me - Well I've decided (and learned) that's THEIR problem not mine. I have been in the situations that are in line with my life and are critical to my life. So it ain't been no smooth road necessarily, but I haven't had to crawl either.

E: Being a daughter/Sister/Aunt at 40 - any evolution?

P: Somewhat. The more I became comfortable in myself, the more I gave back what didn't belong to me in a manner of speaking. Giving it back to the owner has allowed me to free up some valuable space in my own life. Accepting that which I cannot change and in hindsight don't want to has been liberating. I am who I am. I have so much respect and admiration for the woman(en) who has helped me become the woman I am today it ain't even funny. I still have ALOT of family issues and most of them revolve around disconnection. Some serious therapy would probably help answer why - but you know what, why go there? It also is what it is. I believe that one day it too will come to a head and we will have to all sit down and come to some truth - some universal truth about it. I'll be there when the call goes out.

E: Love at 40 - what's that like?

P: (Begins to blush) Love at 40 huh? Well it depends on where you personally are when you get blessed with it. For ME, it has been pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This is the realest as a person I have been with another person. My emotions are RAW, I tell you RAW. This man, ooo this man - whew! is all I got to say, lol

E: Wedding and Marriage at 40 - that must be interesting?

P: Who you tellin. My first time I eloped and actually there was no fanfare around my marriage. Well I want some this time, lol Planning is what I do - so the difficulty has been more about corraling in all the directions I would like to go in. We chose Vegas cause it speaks to our relationship and where we are in our lives the lights, the action, the shows, the...gamble. I have been 'trained' all of my formative years to be a wife and mother - I find independence in that, comfort, stability and peace - so I am quite looking forward to this period of my life.

E: Finally with all the things happening in and around you - - ARE YOU HAPPY?

P: Estatic! However, I am learning something about happiness, it must be tempered and poured slowly around others. It's like alcohol really and some folks have low tolerance. In alot of cases, I've decided to just go seek out fellow drinkers - because l'm in the party period of my life and I want to STAY INTOXICATED WITH IT!!!

E: In conclusion, if there was one song that you would say describes your life right this moment - what would it be?

P: I'mma have to give it up to Sista Stepfanie Mills and her classic "I Feel Good All Over"

E: Thanks!

P: You're Welcome

Monday Musings

What it be people?! I had a good weekend and hope you all did as well. Though my body was in relax mode, my mind was ever busy this weekend. I just couldn't shut it off. So I'm sorry but it really is worth reading.....

Wanna know how you can tell you grown, when folks your age start dying of things you didn't think you could die from. This whole Gerald Levert passing (RIP) was on my mind heavy this weekend. First, I thought about the fact that I got, lets see, 2 CNN Breaks, 1 AJC Breaking News about Brittney Spears filing for divorce, but I damn near had to call Cleveland to verify Geralds passing. Actually I verified it on WIKIPEDIA. They had added a blurb. Alrightyy then! Next was the realization that I was a Gerald Levert fan, lol. Like when Aaliyyah passed (RIP) I got to thinking about their music and it was a situation where I couldn't tell you one song name or album, but I had plenty of their work. One of my FAVORITE songs that I play all the time on the IPOD is by Gerald Levert, 'Funny you would call today.' Next it brought not necessarily my own mortality but that of my beloved...Michael Jackson. CAUN kinda beat me to it, when I brought it up that he would come get me if it happened while I was in a place where it wouldn't be safe for me to drive home and he would allow me the time I would need to mourn. Then, I got really sad because who in the hell was going to now do all the BET shows!? Gerald Levert was a fixture. That brother was a SANGER (not singer but SANGER) and his performances were good and he was always on the Walk of Fame and then the Sky Show etc. etc. TV One pulled out that sky show and an appearance on Showtime at the Appollo Saturday night.

Over this weekend (and it seems all us heathens got issues this Monday Morning) I finched everytime I heard "He's in a better place" Sorry, can't get with that. My Daddy and Late Husband are NOT in a better place, they are D-E-A-D. A better place would be for my Daddy to be here surrounded by his Grandchildren, for him to be walking me down the aisle. So as they used to say in NYC - Dead that! Not of my particular belief system at all. I been to a cemetary - wasn't all that impressed as to it's 'better place' ranking! Now I know, I know - some folks are hopping around toes crunched from the stilletto I just stepped on them with. I even know that it can offer comfort to the 'believers', but I'm just saying that ain't never offered no comfort to me.

I walked hard on the treadmill this weekend. I upped the speed and walked more distance. As I felt the sweat pour off of my body, and DeeJay was 'Whooping some trick' the struggle we all have with weight, going to the Dr., getting our men to go to the Dr. was on my mind. I won't sit here and say I had some kinda epiphany and that now I'm on some mission just so I can fall off of it next week, when the world has moved on from this passing - but I have stopped fighting the treadmill - it is NOT the enemy. I walked about 3 miles last week and I already have walked 1 1/2 as of yesterday for this week. I will continue to TRY!

Another thing I thought about was when I came into the blogger sphere, for some reason I came into it with this vision of...honesty. I just 'assumed' that this world was different than say the discussion group world. Them negroes lie like fur rugs - but to me blogging was this entry into 'truth' who would sit around and pour their heart out and it be a lie? Well as I've blogged well over a year - I now know that human nature is what it is. I have seen petty fights, I have myself, caught an attitude on here and on somebody's elses blog (what the hell, that's their world). I have also witnessed people who speak such a 'truth' but are living such an alternate reality to what they speak.

However, is it really a lie - or are all of these facets what make up people to begin with? Can you really speak with volumes of say morality and still be hoe? Can you speak with the voice of God and break all 10 commandments daily? Can you be the voice of wisdom but be the most confused person you know? More importantly, is it anybody's duty to make this known. To call out a person - or is the blog itself an alternate universe where you can close your legs, believe in your god and get your mind straight? Hmmmmmm is all I got to say, Hmmmm.

I want to be braver on my blog - say more of my mindspace and not curtail it - I see folks who speak their mind FOR REAL - all aspects of it. I want to reveal my prejudices, my bias', my stankness, my funkiness, my bitch - I need to release that....I'm working on releasing that...I'll warn you before I blow, lol

So ya'll this week is all about how to plan a wedding on 6 paychecks! I have a ton of charts, graphs, prayer cloths and other things to assemble, LOL The gig will be taking a back seat this week - because I am bereft of lists and so my world is currently chaotic. I must get back on track!

This week I said I would be celebrating my celebrity - but my lazy ass didn't really put that whole concept together so we'll see. I've seen some good meme's out there so maybe I'll do a couple of those and I have some interviews (Ya'll know I love being questioned) so that just might work.

Take care my people and next time I'll have something to do over the weekend, cause ya'll see what happens when it's just me and my mindspace, lol lol

Friday Fandango

Well Peeps another week. I hope that you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. It's been wordy but brought a smile to my face remember all those times. I could go on and on - but I'll spare you, lol.

Nothing on tap for this weekend - getting the garage door opener replaced, cleaning and organzing the office, working major numbers as we are two months away from the nuptials.

I am feeling these themes - so next week I will be celebrating my celebrity, lol lol - Yea I'm going to trip my own self out - but hey if you don't think you're one - nobody else will, lol

I thought I'd leave you with some Crisco Can Level HAM! Have a good weekend!!!!

The Nine Lives of GoodBeds

Goodbeds is five years younger than me. I remember being sooo excited about him coming into the world. On the day of his birth, however, he almost didn't make it. He was breech and the birth was quite difficult. He came out ass first with the cord wrapped around his neck and legs holding him in a jack knife position. He was NAVY BLUE! Then story goes the Dr. ripped off his mask and blew breath into him and another black baby was screaming and hollaring at Crawford Long (No Grady Babies Here, lol)

As he developed, it became apparent that he was going to be a precocious one. Dennis the Menace didn't have ANYTHING on this nut. The joke became he came out ass first and he's been ass backwards ever since. This boy kept us in stitches and still does as a man. So I thought I'd devote this "I Don't Want to Grow Up" Blog to my Brother 'Good Beds'.

• Growing up back in the day you were always on the hunt for something while you played. You could spend all day on treasure hunts and the like. We lived in what could be termed a dream house for kids. We lived in an old daycare. YEP! and the owner just left alot of stuff there. Sooo we had an entire play room and play ground right in our back yard. Now we also had three toilets in each bathroom and a huge metal sink in the living room, but hey our house was the bomb! One of the main rules was if you found something electric DON'T PLUG IT IN!!! Well Good beds would have none of that. He had found a tape recorder and really wanted to see if it worked. He damn well knew the rules, but I could never stop him from doing anything and as a matter of fact - he would convince me to do the craziest things. I remember being upstairs with my mom when you heard this loud pop and the house literally shook and all the lights went off. We rushed down to the basement and there lay Good beds and my younger sister - badly shaken up. What the hell happened you asked? That fool plugged that damn tape recorder in but as a 'safety' measure told my sister to hold his hand so that if he started getting electrocuted she could pull him away!!!!!!! Both of them got shocked and busted all the fuses. My mom was like she could have lost two children that day! He got whipped.



• Ok this boy had a standing appointment to get whipped. No lie, he would stop playing go in the house get whipped wait a minute and come on outside. There was no point in punishing him or he would have stayed in his room till he was grown. I remember one time - he was about to get a good one and my mom commendeer all of us to help her chase him down (he was a runner). He ran to his room and slid up under the bed - now if you can visualize this my mom is on her knees swinging the belt under the bed trying to hit him. Then she says "TAKE THE BED APART!" So here we are literally taking the sides of the bed apart. We lift the mattress and he is nowhere to be found! Then we turn the bottom of the box springs around and this fool has gripped onto the box springs like spider man and literally when we carried the box springs out the room to place in the hall - he went with it! We all fell out laughing and he was spared an ass whipping - that day!



• Remember when marbles were the shyt? Everyone had them even if you couldn't play like myself. Well Goodbeds was always in trouble for eating on things - once he stuck his head in the toilet and sucked the deodorizer, then he would just chew on anything plastic none of his toys had hands and feet! Well one time we were playing marbles and he decided to suck on one of the huskies and it accidently went down his throat and he started to choke. WE WERE HOME ALONE! So here I go calling 911 and telling them he's choking, meanwhile he's all on the floor gasping for air etc. The following folks showed up at the house at the same time: EMS, Fire Department, Parents. It was a hot mess. They all burst into the house and old boy was laying there and then just like that he sat up and said "Whew I finally swallowed it! To this day that Husky has NEVER made a reappearance.

Goodbeds is now the Father of four and in the spirit and likeness of our daddy - he makes furniture for a living. He is still the life of the party and whenever we all get together - ultimately stories of the nine lives of Goodbeds comes up.

Honey Get Momma Her Smelling Salts!

Well I Declare this was worth dipping back into the present for - I'll be getting out my formal wear for this one!

Jackson plans 'Thriller' performance 1 hour, 40 minutes ago



Michael Jackson will perform "Thriller" from his famed 1982 album in a rare public appearance at the World Music Awards next week, organizers said Wednesday. The 48-year-old reclusive pop star will receive a Diamond Award, given to artists who sell more than 100 million albums, at the Nov. 15 ceremony in London.

Jackson has spent time in Bahrain and Ireland since he was acquitted of child molestation charges in June 2005, making few public appearances.

"Thriller" won eight Grammy Awards and became one of the best-sellers of all time, selling over 50 million copies. Along with the title track, the album includes "Billie Jean" and "Beat It."

Jackson last performed in Britain in 1997.

SCARRED

There are so many memories that I could take up two weeks, but I wanted to make it lively and funny for yah - so I'll take up just one. Alot of topics rolled around in my head, but I thought I'd start "I Don't Want To Grow Up" week with stories that have scarred me for life! Being a child is hard enough without you doing things that end up being burned in your memory.

Here are a couple of mines:

I've always loved dolls and had them since I was very young. When Baby Alive came out and they had a black one too - I was in heaven! I loved that doll and immediately after feeding it all the food that came in the box, went on the hunt to find other things to feed her. Margarine, applesauce you know regular stuff. One day we were all playing outside and I was down the block with my friends. I kept seeing lots of kids coming to our porch. As I got nearer I saw that they were lining up for something. Now it wasn't lunch time (back in the day my step mom used to make peanut butter and jelly or cream cheese and honey sandwiches and we would line up to get one and a cup of water - all the kids on the block, didn't matter) so I was wondering what was going on. We ran down the street and as I got closer I saw two of my brothers at the head of the line standing on the porch. One by one kids were walking up - then I saw what was going on: My brother had taped the waterhose between my baby alive's legs and was charging a nickel for kids to come up and drink out of the Baby Alive Water Fountain!!!!!!!!! She was laying on the porch rail with water shooting out of her mouth!! I began screaming and running around and chasing folks away. SCARRED!!!!


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I was a bike rider! Loved it! We spent alot of time on our bikes. I used to love to race. We would have these tournments against other blocks. Well we had a big one coming up and I was the current champ. One the day of the race, my mom had to run an errand and told me to stay my ass in front of the house, but I couldn't miss the race come on now! So she left and I left. RACE TIME! We are speeding down this hill, I am doing my thing when I realize that my brakes don't work on the ten speed. I begin to think about how to stop the bike at the end of the hill and then I decide to pull up in the drive way and just fall over in the yard at the bottom. Well the best laid plans of men I tell yah! I missed the actual driveway by like 1/2 an inch - I hit the curb and all I remember is flying up in the air. I was airborne. Then I woke up and no lie I was hanging from the first rung of the telephone pole that was at said curb. Just hanging there. Kids running around saying I was like 100 feet up in the hair. I pulled myself up and unhooked myself and fell to the ground. I was crying, of course and then it dawned on me, my mouth was full of blood and I didn't have any teeth!!! Where the hell were my teeth!! So then I began screaming because it also dawned on me, my mom would be home any minute and she was gonna WHOOP MY ASS! So here I am crawling around on the ground looking for my teeth, broke up bike all broke up - just a hot mess. I remember limping home and everybody deserting me as I sat on my porch (cause back then you were safe enough not to even have to go in the house, she had locked the door) waiting on what was going to be much worse than any teeth I had knocked out. I ended up losing a tooth and having to stay out of school for about two weeks due to severly brusied ribs, and some kinda funky ass huge boils I developed on both knees. I was nine years old SCARRED!!


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We spent alot of time in that empty house in the back. It was a fort, playhouse, scary house, hide and go seek(or hide and go get) house. My older brother was always trying to either tear up things or blow up things. One day we were out in the back and he told us that he could make the house fall down. We laughed it off and were like, you're out of your mind. He then began to tell us about structures and what held them up etc. etc. I ain't gonna lie, we became intrigued. He then devised a plan to tear the house down. We worked on that project for a good week daily. He snuck my fathers tools and we spent time sawing different spots in the house etc. It was a two story OLDD house - had been abandoned for years and was wooden. It was on it's last legs anyway. The big day came. I was the lookout (as usual). My brother had two of my other brothers tie these ropes around their waists. Then he tied the ropes to the steps in the house. On count they all went into the house - at the count of 10 they were all suppose to run out the house pulling the steps out which would start the implosion of the house. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!!!! They went to running and the house started shaking and down it started falling!!!!!!!! Except it was falling towards my Brothers - who were chained to the house! I am HYSTERICAL crying and screaming because I just knew they were dead. Wood, Dust, EVERYWHERE!!! I was beside myself - I had just lost three of my brothers in one fell swoop, when suddenly they rose up out the rubble, alive and well except for some cuts and bruises. Ya'll do NOT want to know what kinda trouble we got in SCARRED!

Monday Musings

Groannnn - Achoooo - Sniffle - Sniffle - Robutussin/Nyquil/Ben Gay - WHAT A WEEKEND! I went from 16 years old to 40 years old in one fell swoop but it was well worth it. Homecoming weekend was a huge success and I have partied my behind off. From the pep rally to the game to sitting round JR Crickets on Cascase - it was all on point. I have had a very hard time coming back to the here and now.


As part of the weekend, I took CAUN back to alot of my old stomping grounds from my Elementary School over to where I grew up at (which was several places off Fair Street like alot of black folks back then) It was special to me to be able to share some of the places and moments that have made me who I am. It also was nice for him to see yet another side to me and my personality.

The best part was the fact that mini-me got an opportunity to add some 'humaness' to the title of mother. Folks were speaking around her about who I was then (even if some of it was exagerrated, lol) and it was a rare opportunity for her to see that you can beat to your own drummer, make your own rules and still - be - respected and popular.

Now Sunday - I was TOE BACK! (that's torn back folks). I couldn't move, breathe or anything. I kept it going until like 1pm and then I just collapsed, lol stayed in the bed ALL DAY. Because if I hadn't I'd be even more messed up today than I already am.

WHEW a good time was had by all!

Wedding Update: Actual Trip Booked!! I's getting married ya'll. Nothing else to report - just crusing right now and regrouping the list so that I can see what needs to be done..next. Both CAUN and I are eagerly anticipating this 'expense' being over - as shoppers - we are sorely missing going to the mall!!

I see a broke week on the horizon but not a necessarily hectic week. I should be getting in some EBAY items I bought this week and I begin my Literature Class tomorrow. I will be locked in the office this evening writing a paper - so life is status quo.

As I mentioned, this will be the only PRESENT TIME post I'm doing this week. Tomorrow officially begins "I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP' week. Get ready for some funny stuff people - some funny stuff!

Have a blessed week - don't let anyone steal your joy - don't decide you can't be joyous because of others - don't question the validity of your joy - and KEEP IT CRUNK!

Friday Fandango!

I'm Sooo Glad..That I Went To Washington High! - It is Friday ya'll! I had a note on DQ this morning claiming we got paid today, but when I looked into my account all I saw was laugher and jeers - so I'll move on from that, lol.

Today is the beginning of HOMECOMING WEEKEND BABY!! Yea Yea College was okay, but for alot of us, particularily if you grew up in Atlanta HIGHSCHOOL was where it was at! I ain't even gonna lie, there are two periods of my life where things have just been crunktastical (1) Right now this year of being 40 and (2) My High School Years. I wish I could have just damn stayed there.

Today is the Pep Rally, tomorrow is the carnival/tailgating and parade over to the game at Herdon Stadium where we will be playing Columbia High - excuse me - where we will be beating Columbia High (snicker snicker) and then the customary walk over to Washington park to hang out and then a series of after parties. The Alumni Association is on and kicking and so many classes are coming on home for this weekend - from football players to former queens. I AM SO HYPED!!

So ya'll have a good weekend. My calendar is FULL because in between reliving my High School years I have a paper to write, a new class to start, a family to interact with, and some shit that this gig is tripping over.

This whole thing gave me an idea for next week which will be called: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!

Before I leave - I pulled some stuff out the vault for yah! ENJOY!



YOURS TRULY AGE 16 - JUNIOR



MY JUNIOR PROM



HIS JUNIOR PROM



DEBUTANTE BALL - SENIOR